The Flame of Immortality
by CatholicPrincess15
Summary: After Hades was defeated, Pit has led a quiet life. That is, until Palutena announced a permanent merge of forces between Palutena's Army and the Forces of Nature. The process begins by exchanging lavish gifts to the other goddess. However, Phosphora has a special present for Pit, but before she is able to give it to him, is captured by Hades. Can Pit save his not-so-secret crush?
1. The News

**Chapter 1**

I was happily munching on a delicious slice of blueberry pie when Lady Palutena walked into the room, smiling. "Hey there, Pit! I have amazing news!"

_Please let it be a hot spring in Skyworld. Please let it be a hot spring in Skyworld._

Lady Palutena continued, "Due to the past events concerning Hades and the Aurum, Viridi and I have been talking extensively."

I had a funny feeling this would involve me in a bad way, so I consoled myself by eating more pie. "About?"

"Funny you should ask! Since we work so well together when faced with adversity, we decided to make huge changes to the way things are run."

I cringed. "What do you mean?"

Lady Palutena explained, "We're going to create a permanent merge between ourselves."

An image of a woman looking half Lady Palutena and half Viridi came to mind. "No! Please! Anything but that!"

Lady Palutena put her hands on her hips, something she did when she was slightly annoyed with me. "What's so wrong with that? I thought you would like it, considering the significant amount of time you'd be spending with Phosphora."

I sprang up. "What?! Yes! Do it! Do it now!"

Lady Palutena giggled at my embarrassing outburst. "First, you know how humans worship me, right?"

I loyally praised, "Yes! They worship you because you're amazing! You're the goddess of light and the protector of humanity!"

Lady Palutena beamed. "Aw! Thank you. My generous act to Viridi is to implement her in the humans' pantheon. You and Phosphora are going to be the messengers to the humans and announce this change."

_Humans worshipping Viridi? But she hates them._

I didn't want to argue with my superior, but still . . . "Are you sure that'll go well? She set a reset bomb on them and almost obliterated them."

Lady Palutena paused. "Well yes, but ever since she aided you in stopping the Underworld Army, the humans seem to be able to forgive her."

If the humans were okay with it, it seemed morally licit. "Got it. What's Viridi's generous act to us?"

Lady Palutena grinned. "This is one of your longest-held dreams, Pit. All the training rooms and personal quarters in Skyworld will contain a hot spring."

_I GET MY OWN PRIVATE HOT SPRING! THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN WHAT I WANTED!_

I tried to be as nonchalant as possible. "So when is this happening?"

"Relatively soon."

A new voice clamored, "Hellooooo!"

_Soon as in immediately._

Viridi burst in waving at me. "Did you miss me?"

To be perfectly honest . . . "Yeah. I liked it when the Forces of Nature and Palutena's Army were allies."

Lady Palutena grinned. "It'll be that way forever now."

Viridi shot me a sly grin. "You'll have to call me Lady Viridi now, just like you do for Palutena. Anyway, let's get those hot springs installed. I'm starting work on the one in the practice room immediately."

Viridi left while I asked Lady Palutena, "Wait, so is Viridi-er, Lady Viridi?-and Phosphora coming to live in Skyworld now?"

"Not limited to Viridi and Phosphora. Arlon the Serene and Cragalanche the Mighty are also coming. Oh right! And Dark Pit. He joined the Forces of Nature, you know. Oh right! I almost forgot: Viridi's center is going to move here and become the new right half of our home."

I mused, "That's really different. Although, you were right when you said I would like spending time with Phosphora. She's pretty! I mean . . . fierce in battle."

Lady Palutena cleared her throat. "Right. I'm very pleased with this particular tweak because it'll help with your sleep pattern. In the day, you'll be in my section where there's jazzy music to keep you up and energized, while at night, you can chill out in Viridi's section with soothing music to lull you to sleep."

I finished up my blueberry pie and tossed it in the sink, daydreaming about what the future held in store for me.


	2. Dark Pit's Arrival

**Chapter 2**

The next week flew by. Construction of the hot spring in the practice range was completed, and Lady Viridi (it was still very hard to say that) decided that since I saved the day so many times, my room should get a hot spring before anyone else. While that sounded like a great deal, they started without telling me.

As I ran into my quarters to stop them from discovering my secret, I found Lady Palutena and Lady Viridi standing in front of my shrine to Phosphora: a Phosphora bow on my desk right next to a framed picture of the lightning master herself.

Lady Viridi stared at me. "So I guess this means that you have a soft spot for Phosphora?"

Lady Palutena whispered, "More like obsession."

I felt my face heat up as much as when my wings burned up saving Dark Pit. "Hey! It's private."

Lady Viridi rolled her eyes. "Ugh! So mushy! I'm going to puke! But seriously, Pit, Phosphora already admitted that she thought you were cute."

I already overanalyzed that whole conversation for almost a year. "Well yeah, but she also said Lady Palutena was old. Phosphora liked to throw us off our game."

Lady Viridi smirked. "Normally yes, but not that time. Remember the order in which things were said. She mentioned Palutena's age after Palutena said 'don't mind him'. Phosphora was angry because she thought Palutena was teasing you. She likes you too, Pit."

_I get a hot spring in my room AND Phosphora has a crush on me?! BEST. DAY. EVER._

I practically did a backflip when Lady Viridi changed the subject. "Dark Pit is moving in within the next few days. Since he's a new commander, I haven't assigned him any troops; it'll be easier getting him here."

Lady Palutena turned to me. "Do you think you'd like him as a roommate?"

I shrugged. "The more the merrier! I'll just hide my secret shrine now." I gently tucked the picture and the bow in the bottom shelf of my desk.

An awesome amazing idea slammed into me. I should make him a sign!

I went to the arts and crafts room (the centurions liked to draw in their free time) and wrote in nice big letters WELCOME HOME, DARK PIT!. Lady Palutena saw the sign. "You're so nice. I'm sure he'll love it."

I traveled back to my room and hung the sign up over the threshold. "Ah. Now my room is ready to become our room."

I worked on training all morning and started to play Idol Toss at noon to pass the time. A familiar voice murmured, "What's the point in playing that if you have all the idols?"

I turned and saw Dark Pit. "It's good to see you! How is it working for Lady Viridi?"

He snorted. "'Lady' Viridi? My, my, aren't we fancy? To answer your question, good. I get to a bringer of justice without being a pushover."

_Always as grumpy as ever._

I changed the subject. "We're roommates now, right?"

Dark Pit nodded. "Yup. Viridi told me. Should be alright."

"Would you like a tour?"

"Sure. Why not?"

We quickly breezed through all the different parts of the temple until I almost smacked right into Lady Palutena. She waved at Dark Pit. "Hey! Glad you're here!"

His lips slightly turned upward. "Thanks. It's good to be with you all."

Lady Viridi burst in. "Palutena, we need to talk!"

Sensing drama, I shook my head. "Please don't tell me you're calling this fusion thing off already. I know you hate humans and they are selfish, but we need to come up with a solution that has no destruction."

Lady Viridi ignored me and gestured for Lady Palutena to follow her. The two goddesses hurried out.


	3. Squad Sighted

**Chapter 3**

Lady Palutena and Lady (still super weird saying it) Viridi burst back in with pale, graven expressions. Dark Pit drew out his weapon. "What's wrong?"

Lady Viridi exclaimed, "An Underworld troop is on the border between the land of the dead and the world! This could be the first wave of an invasion!"

I wiped sweat off my forehead. "Phew! I thought you were ditching us because of your hatred of humans."

Lady Viridi glared at me. "I will have you know that if humans will be respectful to nature and live relatively peaceful, I won't have a problem with them."

Lady Palutena elaborated, "Viridi's relationship with humans took up most of our discussions before we decided to team up."

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Focus! Hades might be back. We need to investigate this now!"

Lady Viridi shook her head. "Not you. I'll have Arlon check it out."

When Lady Viridi left to deploy Arlon, I questioned, "Wait. Everyone, Cragalanche, Arlon, and Phosphora, had all different locations. Now we're cramming them all together?"

Lady Palutena shook her head. "It's not that simple. Viridi is going to move the Lunar Sanctum, Arlon's home, next door."

I tried not to sound as excited as I was. "And what about Phosphora? Is the Thunder Cloud Temple going to come here too?"

Lady Palutena shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. It's not Phosphora's, but Viridi might just give it to her."

The next day, an elegant voice pierced through the walls and woke me up. "Not to worry, Mistress Viridi. My observations point to the conclusion that we have no need to panic yet. However, I suggest that we keep watch for a little while to be positive that no trouble will occur."

Lady Viridi praised, "Good work! I'll have Cragalanche crush any invaders. Dark Pit has already moved in to Palutena's Temple. I want you to get the Lunar Sanctum here stat. Here's the exact coordinates. Palutena said that her force field can cover all of it."

Arlon replied, "How magnificent! I shall get started right away."

I poked Dark Pit. "Are they loud or are the walls way too thin?"

Dark Pit shrugged. "All I know is that you just disturbed my beauty sleep. Don't wake me up like that again unless the temple is being attacked." He rolled over.

_He's useful. Not._

I took a relaxing bath in MY. OWN. PERSONAL. HOT. SPRING. until the fatigue washed away from me. I sauntered over to Lady Viridi. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Well, not really. I'm about to perform a fusion that will link my sanctuary to Palutena's temple." She ascended into the air and waved her staff around seven times.

Suddenly, a huge building zoomed in and made itself comfortable at the right side of the temple. Lady Viridi came back down and stretched. "Perfect! Now all of my stuff is here. My troops will have their own rooms here."

I asked, "How's the Underworld situation? No trouble?"

"Nope. Cragalanche hasn't communicated anything."

I crossed my arms. "Does he ever communicate?"

"To me."

_Fair enough._

I started training and was fighting a replica of Pandora when a strange darkness filled the air. I paused for a moment to try to figure out if something was wrong, which led to the replica sending a bomb attack in my direction. As quickly as it came, the blip disappeared and I continued to battle her.

Then the room turned pitch black. A second later, they turned on, and I was face to face with Arlon and a blue Pandora puddle on the ground. Arlon extended his hand. "I felt like making a dramatic entrance. Hello, Master Pit. It appears that we will no longer have to face each other in combat. The lunar power within me is at your side."

I shook his hand. "Fantastic! I'm sure it'll come in handy, especially that ability you just displayed. You know, the one that cloaks everything in darkness."

Arlon chuckled. "Such flattery. I thank you. That blackout was the Lunar Sanctum arriving. It's now behind Mistress Viridi's home."

_So much changing so fast. New buildings . . . is Lady Palutena's Temple even going to look like her temple after all this?_


	4. Messenger of the Goddesses

**Chapter 4**

I faked a smile and dipped into the training room hot spring to cool off while Arlon left. Dark Pit waltzed in. "Ooh. You vaporized Pandora."

I looked where he was referring to and shook my head. "That was Arlon. Are you here to take down a boss?"

Dark Pit nodded. "I was going to face a Medusa when you were done."

I scurried out of the room to give him some privacy and made my way to Lady Palutena. "Can I complain for a second?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

"When is Phosphora coming?"

"Viridi is working on getting her here next."

_So I have to harass Lady Viridi._

I bounded over to Lady Viridi. "When's Phosphora coming?!"

Lady Viridi groaned. "I'm still helping Arlon settle in. Can you have some patience?"

I honestly replied, "No."

Lady Viridi turned around and walked away.

_How rude._

A bunch of mahva swirled in front of me. I jumped back. "Uh . . . do you we're together now? So you're friendly?"

The mahva didn't respond but zoomed in the direction of the Lunar Sanctum. Dark Pit joined me. "Arlon's battalion is coming to guard the Sanctum. And yes, every Forces of Nature fighter is aware that Palutena's Army is part of us now."

I scratched my head. "This fusion is taking forever."

Dark Pit shrugged. "Something this big takes a while. By the way, I think Palutena is going to assign you to be a messenger to the humans and announce that they have to worship Viridi now."

Lady Viridi reentered with a look of triumph. "Remember earlier when you asked if there was anything you could do to help?"

I nodded. "Dark Pit said Lady Palutena is going to have me tell the people to worship you."

She smiled. "Perfect! Because that's exactly what I want you to do! I'll grant you the power of flight."

I set off, spinning in the air with glee. No Underworld Army trying to crush me, just the wind and my wings. I glided over ponds, mountains, and valleys until That First Town came into view. Lady Viridi dropped me off gently while I started waving at the people.

An elderly woman beamed. "Oh, it's that cute little angel! He saved us from Twinbellows!"

I hugged her. "Hi! I need everyone's attention. How can I do that?"

A group of teens pointed. "It's the hero!"

_Since everyone recognizes me, I'll just go in the center of town._

I sauntered over to the fountain and cleared my throat. All the people noticed me and formed around me screaming thanks and praise.

_It feels good to be loved._

I cleared my throat. "As you all know, I am Pit, an angel in the goddess Palutena's Army! Lady Palutena has an important announcement for you."

The citizens murmured amongst themselves. I continued, "She is combining our army with The Forces of Nature! The goddess Viridi is going to permanently be Lady Palutena's partner!"

A man cried out, "We've all heard about the Reset Bomb! She helped you defeat Hades, but how can we trust her?"

I assured, "Lady Viridi has sworn to protect mankind as long as you stop exploiting nature, needlessly cutting down trees, and slaughtering the creatures of the Earth. Lady Palutena would like to add that as an act of goodwill, she would petition you to start worshipping Lady Viridi as you do her."

A woman holding a newborn in her arms asked, "How? Does Viridi want her own temple? A mini shrine in each of our homes?"

_Great question. Lady Viridi really needs to get her doctrine together._

I held up my hands in surrender. "I don't know that! Everything's still being straightened out! Just keep her in your hearts and prayers for now with Lady Palutena. In addition, as I am Lady Palutena's messenger, Lady Viridi has appointed Phosphora as hers. The Forces of Nature can whip up a storm to decimate your enemies' fleet. I recommend you take the deal."

The people nodded. "If Viridi keeps her end of the deal, we'll start obeying her!"

Lady Viridi warped me back to Lady Palutena's Temple. "Great work. Just so you know, I want my own temple. Palutena and I are to be equals. If she has a temple, I get one too. We are balanced."

I stretched. "Sure. I'll tell them on my next visit."

"Perfect. By the way, I asked Phosphora to come. You're welcome."

I threw my arms around her. "THANK YOU SO MUCH! You're the best!"

She wrenched me off of her. "It's temporary. She likes to move from one place to the next."

_Dagger to the heart._

I sulked. "Still, I can't wait to see her! What should I say?"

"Start with 'hello'. Rest up before I'll have you deliver the message to another town."

_This menial work is killing me._


	5. Sparks

**Chapter 5**

After delivering Lady Viridi's news across the land, I was living the high life of eating a chocolate mousse cake in the hot spring in my room. Dark Pit entered. "Hey, can I tell you something personal?"

That caught my attention. "Sure. What?"

"Arlon started talking to me about being your . . . copy. He said that I'm not like your copy, but a twin. And that I should have my own identity. So I decided Dark Pit isn't my name anymore."

I frowned. "What is it?"

"Blade."

I wasn't sure what to make of that. "Are you happy?"

"Yeah. It feels good to step out of your shadow."

I grinned. "I'm sorry you felt that way, but I'm so glad that you're better."

Arlon poked his head into the room. "Sorry to interrupt Young Master Pit and Young Master Blade, but your presence is required. Mistress Viridi would like to speak to you."

I bobbed my head up and down. "Sure thing!"

I looked around for her until I heard her voice praise, "You're my top warrior, Phosphora. That's why I'm putting you in the front lines with Pit."

_AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!_

_And thank you for putting us together, Lady Viridi. It doesn't go unnoticed. _

I stood up straighter and confidently strode in the entryway where the two girls were. "You wanted me, Lady Viridi?"

Lady Viridi turned to me. "Yes. There you are. Your main partner will be Phosphora. I trust that you'll get along?"

_YES. _

I beamed. "Of course! Nice to see you again, Phosphora."

Phosphora smiled. "Ditto. What's our first assignment, Mistress Viridi?"

Lady Viridi stretched. "Hmm. There's not much. We're finishing up Arlon's move. I know that you like to bounce around between places, so I'll leave your residence up to you."

_Can I say something that might convince her to stay?_

I cleared my throat. "Maybe you should stay here a bit; get to know your way around Lady Palutena's Temple."

Phosphora tilted her head. "I guess I can. It wouldn't hurt to get to know a new section of our turf. Do you have room for me?"

Lady Viridi nodded. "I'll always have room for you. There's a place in my home you can use. First thing tomorrow morning, I want you two to train each other. Pit, teach Phosphora how to dodge enemy fire better. Phosphora, try to teach Pit how to use lightning."

There was a problem with that. "Er-I don't have any lightning powers. If anything, maybe wind, since angels need it to fly? But my wings are defective, so I'm not sure."

Phosphora chided, "Don't be such a baby! Experiment! Have some fun!"

I cringed. "Alright. I'll give it a shot!"

Blade sauntered in. "Commander Phosphora."

She nodded in his direction. "Dark Pit."

He corrected, "I actually go by Blade now."

Lady Viridi swiveled her head in his direction. "What?! That's news to me!"

Blade shrugged. "It's relatively recent."

Phosphora praised, "I like that. Change is a wonderful thing. The seasons change. It's all part of the circle of life."

Lady Viridi waved it off. "Whatever. It doesn't matter to me. Blade, you're going to train with Arlon tomorrow. That's all. Phosphora, I'll show you to your room."

The girls left, leaving Blade and I there looking after them. Blade noticed my eyes only followed Phosphora. "You have it bad, don't you?"

My face flushed. "Wh-what do you mean?!"

He leaned into my face. "I saw your secret shrine in the desk. Very interesting. If you're sour cream, Phosphora is hot sauce. Polar opposites. I don't think you can handle her."

I balled my fists. "Oh yeah? Watch me!"

I stormed off to our room, doubting myself.

_Am I a good fit for Phosphora? _

_Lady Palutena and Lady Viridi think so._

I peeked out the window to see what time it was and was greeted by a beautiful sunset. Lady Palutena entered with a bright demeanor. "Hey Pit! It's getting late. Time to go relax in Viridi's home to unwind before bed. It helps you sleep better."

I followed her but hesitated. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you think I'd be a good boyfriend for Phosphora? Blade said I can't handle her. Can I?"

"You can do it! You took down Medusa and Hades! You can deal with a little sass."

As I settled into a comfy couch in Lady Viridi's lounge, Phosphora entered and stretched. I took the opportunity to talk to her. "Hey Phosphora! It's great becoming one team! It'll be fun working with you."

She smirked. "Thanks . . . do you want something from me?"

I shook my head. "Well, Lady Viridi told me that you had a crush on me." Since Phosphora had no reaction, I continued, "I have one on you too. So, do you think we could go out sometime?"

Phosphora's smirk broke into a grin. "Sure. Sounds great. What do you have in mind?"

I knew the perfect place to be. "Demeter's café. She has the best food."

She snorted. "I figured it would involve eating. When?"

I came up with the date that popped in my head first. "Next week?"

"Cool!"

_Now what?_


	6. Life Everlasting

**Chapter 6**

An awkward silence followed for a bit until Lady Viridi walked in. "Pit! Good. It's time for us to connect!"

I blinked. "Huh?"

Lady Viridi played with her long ponytail. "You know how you and Palutena can communicate telepathically, right?"

I nodded. "Yep! She talked to me that way when the carrots started to rebel!"

Lady Viridi gave me a look like I was the dumbest person ever. "Okay then. Anyway, I'm going to link us so we can have that feature."

I perked up. "Awesome! I'm ready."

Lady Viridi put her hands on my head, and murmured something under her breath. I felt a power flow into me. "Whoa! That was amazing!"

Lady Viridi smiled. "Like a straw stuck in an orange. Palutena should get that process done with you Phosphora, Arlon, Cragalanche, and Blade."

Phosphora nodded. "Of course. Excuse me for a minute. I need to tell Arlon something about my work." She hurried out of the room.

I bragged, "We're going on a date! I'm so happy!"

Lady Viridi rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, congratulations."

For the rest of the night, I was walking on air.

In the morning, pepped up for my session with Phosphora, I walked into the training room and was baffled to see Arlon there. "Arlon? What are you doing here?"

He bowed slightly. "Commander Phosphora had pressing matters to attend to. I will be your sparring partner today."

I scowled. "I guess."

Arlon twirled a finger through his moustache. "I know I am not the beautiful electric warrior, but I will give you my special gift as part of the merging now."

That piqued my interest. "Present?"

He turned off the lights with a snap of his fingers. "I will teach you how to do this. Controlling what your enemies see is very important in battle. Let's start with you being able to extinguish a lit candle."

After an hour of moon lessons, I managed to flick it out on my own. Arlon clapped politely. "Well done! No doubt your newly formed link to Mistress Viridi helped harness the forces of the night."

I stared at my hands. "That was so cool! Now can you teach me to take out all the lights like you?"

"Heavens no. One step at a time."

I whined, "Come on! Please?"

He scolded, "I can't. You just started; you're not ready to execute it that precise. Now please stop complaining. I believe you were to teach me dodging techniques?"

We continued sparring until screams pierced the air. I sprinted over to the commotion, where Lady Palutena seemed to be having a heart attack. I asked, "Lady Palutena, what's wrong?"

She pointed outside. "It's the Fire Serpent! You remember him from before! While I entrusted him with one of the Three Sacred Treasures, he's with the Underworld Army now!"

I looked outside, and there it was, slithering toward us. I took out my Needle Palm and aimed it at him. Arlon finally caught up with me. "Mistress Palutena, what is the matter?"

I started firing shots at him, but he hurried his pace and got into the threshold. "Pleasssssssssssse, I come in peaccccce."

I halted for a moment. "What is it, beast?"

He hissed, "I give you a pressssssssent. Phossssssssphora came to ssssssee me in order to create it for you."

It flicked a burning block of iron at me. "Thissssssss isssssss the Flame of Immortality. Ussssssssse it to live forever."

Thinking it was a trap, I gave him a withering look. "Nice try! I may not be able to read, but I'm not an idiot!"

Lady Palutena cried, "No! He's telling the truth! I can feel its true power. It _will_ grant you immortality, Pit. Use it by touching your heart with it!"

Blade and Lady Viridi ran in. Lady Viridi panted. "What's going on? I heard Palutena scream, and I ran across the grounds . . . I think I lost fifty pounds from all the sweat I endured."

I pressed the block to my heart, and the fire engulfed me. I heard Lady Viridi and Blade freak out in the distance as a sharp buzzing sound filled my airs. I started to levitate as the flame consumed my whole body.

At last, I dropped to the ground. "Is it over?"

Lady Palutena grinned. "Welcome to the exclusive Immortals Club, Pit. I'll get you a membership card. You'll get a free yogurt."

I asked, "Why did Phosphora go to you, an Underworld creature?"

"Ssssshe had no ccccccchoicccccccccce. The only way to create it was to go through me. In return, sssssshe gave me a mossssssssst powerful Phossssssphora Bow."

Lady Viridi made a disgusted noise. "Just another episode of the love junk. Oh well. At least Phosphora is coming back soon."

Lady Palutena joked, "Now that Phosphora is taken, maybe Hades would stop hitting on her."

A voice cut through, "Not going to happen, Pretty Palutena!"

We all swiveled around to see Hades in his physical form smirking down on us. Lady Palutena demanded, "How did you manage to resurrect yourself?"

Hades laughed. "Well, thankfully, old Orcos intercepted lovely little Phosphora and stole her second Flame of Immortality. Since I'm already immortal, it simply revived me! There's still a little power in it, but it's useless to me. I just chucked it somewhere."

The color drained from my face. "_Where is she?!_ _Where is Phosphora?!_"


	7. That First Town

**Chapter 7**

Hades grinned. "Why Pitty Pat, she's with me!"

Lady Viridi seethed, "You kidnapped her?! You'll pay!"

_I like the sound of that!_

I glared at him. "I will crush you all over again. And this time, I'll be sure to make it painful."

Lady Palutena cheered, "You tell him, Pit!"

Hades laughed and in a flash, he was gone.

I sank to the floor on my knees, my mind whirling with no real thought. Blade put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll get Phosphora back."

Lady Palutena pulled me back on my feet. "First, I'm going to connect myself telepathically with Arlon. Then I want you two to warn the humans of Hades' return. While you're gone, the rest of us will come up with a plan to save Phosphora."

Lady Palutena put her hands on Arlon's head the same way Lady Viridi did to me, and within a few seconds, Lady Palutena granted me the power of flight while Arlon soared on his own.

We landed in That First Town, but all the people were screaming and running away from the center, right near the water fountain I stood at to announce Lady Viridi's proposal to mankind. A few Miks bounced over everyone's heads. My heart dropped. "The Underworld Army is here! Hades is already starting his rampage!"

We sprinted over to the fountain where a woman with blue hair throwing bombs in all directions. I called out, "Hey! What are you doing?!"

She turned around. "Oh Pit. Don't you realize? I'm here to crush the enemy."

I shook my head. "Your townspeople aren't your enemy! It's the Underworld Army who's really out to hurt you!"

The girl cooed, "Isn't that precious! You don't remember me, do you? How rude. I was the one who introduced you to your new best friend, Dark Pit!"

_Pandora?_

_ But she's not a blob. What the heck?_

Arlon drawled, "I am very curious as to how you regained your form back. Does it have to do with Hades stealing Phosphora's Flame of Immortality?"

Pandora flipped her hair over her shoulder. "No. Dark Pit used my corpse to fly around everywhere. When he traveled to the Rewind Spring to save Pit, I jumped in myself."

I showed her my Needle Palm. "We're not here to play games! You need to surrender or face Arlon and me!"

She giggled. "I'd like to see you try to defeat me."

_I already did. More than once._

I shot her while Pandora started firing annoying heart-shaped projectiles at me. I dodged and kept shooting while Arlon summoned spikes into her. Pandora started conjuring Pandora's Boxes and threw some more bombs at my face. I started meleeing the bombs back at her and avoided the boxes. Arlon built up energy and hurled them at the goddess of calamity.

She collapsed onto the ground. "You got me. That really hurt."

I cracked my knuckles. "Alright Pandora, what's Hades' plan? More soul snatching for his troops?"

Pandora fired a heart projectile in my face. "Just kidding!"

I was knocked back and fell on the ground flat on my face. I sprang back up. "Ow!" I continued to use my Needle Palm shooting at her until she finally faded into nothing.

Arlon took out a hanky and wiped sweat off his forehead. "Quite a challenge. Pandora was very determined."

Lady Viridi extracted me from the town, while Arlon zipped after. I sighed. "The Underworld Army beat us to the town. Pandora killed a lot of civilians. By the way, she's a human now!"

Blade cut in, "We know. The Rewind Spring."

I nodded. "We defeated her though! Did you figure out where Phosphora is being held?"

Lady Palutena beckoned me over to her and showed me a hand drawn map. "She's either in Underworld Army controlled territory in the Overworld or in the Underworld. Probably Underworld. I'm already trying to pinpoint her exact location."

Lady Viridi shook her head. "She's definitely in the Underworld. If she was in the Overworld, I wouldn't have a problem communicating with her. Don't worry Pit. Phosphora is strong; she'll get through this."

I blurted out, "How am _I_ going to get through this?!"

Blade suggested, "Viciously crushing Hades will help get all your anger out."

A voice bellowed, "It seems like I'm the subject for fresh gossip. It seems like Pitty Pat and Arlon took out Pandora together. Then I look at the rubbles and notice humans worshipping both Pretty Palutena and Rosebud Viridi! Then it hit me: you must have an alliance. I'm not losing to a stupid little angel again, so I teamed up with someone myself."


	8. Connected Thoughts

**Chapter 8**

Blade rolled his eyes. "Yippee."

Hades pouted. "What, you don't want to know my secret partner?"

Lady Palutena scrunched up her nose. "You'll tell us anyway."

A gust of flame whirled up next to him. "HA HA HA HA HA HA! With my partnership with Hades, I am a Level Infinity Epic Super God . . . Plus! No longer will Pyrrhon have to be looked down on by all the other gods!"

Lady Viridi said, "Your lack of power wasn't the reason why we always made fun of you. It was because you're an idiot."

Pyrrhon brushed her insult off. "With our combined strength, nobody can stop us!"

I challenged, "Just watch me!"

Lady Palutena rubbed her temples. "Good job getting rid of Pandora. While Viridi and I pinpoint Phosphora's exact location, tomorrow I want you and Arlon to take down Medusa."

I staggered back. "Medusa?! Already?!"

Lady Palutena explained, "Since she disrupted Hades and saved your life, he stripped her of her rank. Medusa is now a regular boss."

Lady Viridi added, "Medusa is attacking That Burning Town. You know, where the Hewdraw Heads were from before."

After a long hot spring bath and a good night's sleep, I woke up pumped and ready to take on the goddess of darkness. As I brushed my teeth, a cluster of nutskis floated above my head. I patted them politely and continued getting ready to depart.

Within ten minutes, Arlon and I were ready to go. Lady Palutena instructed, "Remember, neither Hades nor Pyrrhon know that you're immortal. Keep it that way for as long as possible."

I nodded and jumped out the door into Skyworld while Arlon followed me out. Arlon stated, "I notice your choice of weapon. It's very romantic."

As I dodged a spike from a ganewmede, I replied, "Using my Phosphora Bow makes me feel connected to her, like she's still here."

I meleed the ganewmede and fought off an onslaught of komaytos. Arlon sliced them apart and we soared downward into the Overworld. Lady Palutena advised, "Medusa is turning the people to stone! You're going to have to defeat her in order to save them."

I assured, "Don't worry! We'll get rid of her!"

When we landed, I snacked on a floor apple and walked right into an ambush. A couple of zurrets fired at me while paramushes started landing on the ground. Arlon blasted the paramushes out of the air while I focused on the zurrets. A voice broke in, "Pit, I don't believe I've met your . . . rather long friend."

Arlon responded, "Commander Arlon of the Forces of Nature. I take it that you are Medusa?"

I managed to destroy the zurrets just as a wave of handoras scuttled in. Medusa snorted. "As if there was any doubt. Once I wipe Pit off the face of the Earth, I'll storm Skyworld and crush Palutena!"

Lady Palutena gloated, "You might have a little trouble with that."

I shot all the handoras in a row, only to be greeted by a collin. As I meleed the phils back at him, Medusa demanded, "Why? With Hades distracted, it's the perfect time."

I asked, "What is Hades' plan, anyway?"

Medusa shot me a look of disgust. "The same as before, of course! He wants as many souls as possible. That will always be his goal."

As I killed the collin, Arlon and I were finally free to move on. I went through the hidden path from before and opened a treasure chest that spit out a Bowl Arm. A souflee skittered past me. Not wanting to let the opportunity of extra hearts go away, I quickly dispatched it.

Lady Viridi commented, "You never forget where the treasure boxes are, do you?"

I vigorously shook my head. "That'd just be sloppy! Why let so many rewards go to waste?"

Lady Palutena announced, "I set up a grind rail that goes into the next section of town."

I perked up. "Thank you kindly."

As I hopped on the rail, Arlon zipped ahead and already started slashing some more enemies. I blasted the monoeyes that harassed me during my ride and stuck the landing. We kept up the fighting until Medusa drawled, "I'm most impressed, Pit. You've come a long way. First your fighting, now your relationship with Phosphora. Such a pretty little thing."

That thoroughly creeped me out. Lady Viridi hissed, "What's your point, Miss Demoted?"

I finished off a particularly energized merenguy while Medusa replied, "I'm just offering my condolences. It must be difficult to bear the burden of knowing that your significant other is a hostage of the Underworld Army. They're not merciful."

My mind flashed with pictures of Phosphora being burned, tortured, and stabbed. My blood grew cold. "What are you doing to her?!"

Lady Palutena encouraged, "Don't listen to her. She's just bitter that you have a partner."

Medusa shrilled, "IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE ANYONE WAITING AT HOME FOR YOU EITHER!"

Arlon and I sprinted up a few alleys while the images continued.

_Lady Palutena, please don't let them do anything to her._

She comforted me. _"We're doing our best. I've determined why we can't communicate with Phosphora; Pyrrhon's blocking us. Luckily, your present to Viridi are classes at the Divine University. Her new major is telepathic interference." _

I surmised,_ "So this won't happen again?" _

Lady Palutena assured,_ "It shouldn't." _

_Shouldn't is a lot different than won't._


	9. Allies

**Chapter 9**

After about five more ambushes, Lady Palutena warned, "Medusa's at the lake where you fought Hewdraw Reborn!"

I observed, "The Hewdraw was snaky, and Medusa has snakes in her hair. Maybe liking lakes is a reptile thing."

Arlon complimented, "It's always pleasant to have someone tell jokes in times of duress. You are an asset to this time, Young Master Pit."

I blushed. "Aw! You're great too!"

After hitting more miks, Arlon and I gulped down a Drink of the Gods (which tastes a lot like fruit punch) and rushed out. Medusa smiled nefariously at us. "It'll be wonderful to finally destroy that pesky angel once and for all!"

_That'll be harder than you think._

I rolled my eyes. "You said that about a gajillion times. We get it; you try to crush me and lose. A lot."

Lady Viridi exclaimed, "Someone's getting sassier than usual!"

Medusa started shooting lasers at us. I dodged while Arlon fired blue bolts of energy at her. I kept aiming arrows at her until she grew twice in size. "Time for you to lick my boots!" Medusa slammed her foot down, shaking everything.

I leapt out of the way while Arlon merely floated above and struck her. I shot at her legs while she kept attempting to squish me. After a while, she tried to trap Arlon in her hand and squash him, but he was too quick for her. He commented, "Since we discussed romance earlier, let's dim the lighting to set the mood." He proceeded to blot out all the light, leaving both Medusa and me bewildered.

I watched the direction all of Arlon's attacks came from and kept my fire on that specific area until Medusa howled in pain. Her head jumped from her body and started chasing me around. Fully prepared, I started running while smacking her eye with my arrows until she disintegrated.

As her ashes were swept away on the wind, Arlon shook his head. "How the mighty have fallen. Medusa was once Mistress Palutena's equal. Then she fell to evil, becoming Hades' favorite minion. Even then, she sunk further and became a mere regular boss."

I had no pity for her. "She brought this on herself."

Lady Palutena abruptly said, "Let's extract you from battle!"

We zipped back to headquarters while Lady Viridi scratched her chin. "Telepathic interference homework is so hard. At least once I finish my courses, no more blocks."

I turned to Blade, who silently lurked in the corner. "Any update about Phosphora?"

He replied, "We discovered that Thanatos has the key to the Underworld. Again. Once we get him out of the way, we should be able to launch a rescue mission."

I asked, "Where's Thanatos?"

Lady Palutena scowled. "Hiding. He's letting the lesser bosses command the troops while he watches from a safe distance. We're going to have to take them out to get him to show himself."

I groaned. "Great. How are we taking down tomorrow?"

Lady Palutena rubbed her hands together. "The Great Reaper. Hades is using him to store up massive amounts of souls for his army. With the Great Reaper gone, the natural balance between the heavens, Overworld, and the Underworld will heal considerably."

Arlon piped up, "What news of Pyrrhon? He was joined forces with Hades, but doesn't seem to have his own troops."

Blade responded, "We've detected a force from the other side of the galaxy. He's using the chaos of battle to attract the Aurum."

I held my head in my hands. "Has Hades ever kidnapped someone before? Do we know what they do to their prisoners?"

Lady Palutena shook her head. "No. This is new. I honestly have no idea."

Lady Viridi came in and slammed the door shut behind her. "Not funny, Palutena! Don't play pranks on me when I'm concentrating on my studies!"

Lady Palutena frowned. "What prank?"

"I felt a tingle in my telepathy waves. Seriously, do you want me to succeed and get adept at this or not?"

"I didn't mess with you. Was it . . . Pyrrhon?"

Arlon debunked, "Pyrrhon is much too flashy. He would have announced to the world that he tampered with Mistress Viridi's telepathy waves."

Hope flickered in my chest. "Do you think it's possible that it was Phosphora?"

Lady Viridi crossed her arms. "How could she break through the block?"

Lady Palutena suggested, "The Underworld Army has a large supply of lightning. Maybe she was able to gain strength from it."

The next morning, Arlon and I made our way to the Great Reaper, cutting through waves of erinuses and boogities. As we arrived, a familiar figure was smashing a syren to bits with a club. I jogged over to him. "Magnus! What're you doing here?"

Magnus turned towards us. "Pit? Since I'm a human and the Underworld Army is trying wipe us out AGAIN, it's pretty obvious why I'm here. And I'm guessing you're here to help. Who's your friend?"

I introduced, "This is Arlon the Serene, Commander in the Forces of Nature. Arlon, this is Magnus, the strongest human I've ever met."

Magnus eyed Arlon suspiciously. "Forces of Nature? I heard about the reset bombs. I don't trust Viridi or her minions."

I felt Lady Viridi fume through our connection, so I hastily explained, "We've worked through it. She's agreed not to hurt the humans. Although, if people can live without hurting the Earth and each other, that would curb her urge to annihilate you."

Magnus curled his lip. "Whatever. Just help us get rid of that huge Grim Reaper thing."

I supplied, "The Great Reaper? We're on it!"

A pretty woman walked up to us. "I see the angel has joined the fray. Welcome."

Her voice was so familiar, and yet her face was too, but I couldn't place it. "Have we met before?"

She smiled. "I'm Gaol."


	10. The Great Reaper

**Chapter 10**

I brightened. "Now I remember! You were that poor lady trapped in armor!"

Gaol laughed. "Glad to hear that that's what I'm known for."

Palutena said, "_It's good to see that Gaol is free and no longer has to carry that hunk of metal everywhere." _

Magnus asked, "If you defeated Hades, why is the Underworld Army back?"

I winced. "Hades used a Flame of Immortality to revive himself. They're extremely rare."

Gaol inquired, "Do you think you can take him on again?"

Arlon jumped in, "Absolutely! Since Young Master Pit was the victor in the first clash, he stands a good chance of winning again. Plus, he has me. Two against one."

Magnus shook his head. "Never mind. We're just here to get rid of that Great Reaper thing. Its reign of terror has come to an end."

Arlon proposed, "Perhaps we should continue toward him."

We kept hacking through daphnes and a very pernicious tempura wizard until I noticed a stray path. "One second. I want to see where this goes." I wandered until I found a Zodiac Chamber. I pumped my fists in the air. "WOOHOO!" I hopped in and beheld . . . an Aquarius Blade?

I picked it up. "I already have this."

Lady Palutena explained, "No, this is an upgraded version. Its twice as powerful. It'll come in handy with Pyrrhon trying to crush you as well."

My shoulder slouched. "Thanks for the reminder." I trudged out of the chamber and rejoined the others. "I'm all set."

As we turned down an alleyway, the exits suddenly closed off as a couple of snowmen descended upon us. A thunderous voice boomed, "SURPRISE!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Hades! Don't scare me like that!"

Magnus said, "So you're the leader of this invasion."

Gaol picked up a flame card and hurled it at one snowman while Hades responded, "The one and only! Oh Gaol, you look so different without your armor. It's almost a shame you were forced to wear that hideous thing in the first place. Although, I shouldn't compliment another woman while I have one myself."

I meleed the other snowman as Magnus wondered, "Who would marry the evil god of the Underworld?"

Hades clasped his hands together. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I am keeping a _gorgeous _lady entertained here. It wouldn't be right."

I knew he was baiting me, but the temptation to snap back was irresistible. "Phosphora doesn't like you!" I finished off the snowman while frozums spawned.

Arlon sent out spikes to puncture them. Hades bantered, "No matter. That pretty princess belongs to me now."

Lady Viridi gagged. "You're such a creep. Everyone was so much happier when you were a disembodied voice."

The two deities kept fighting while Magnus, Gaol, and I hopped in an exotank to jump over a huge cliff standing in our way. Arlon simply fluttered to the other side and cast us in complete darkness while he annihilated a mega mussel, another tempura wizard, and three clobberskulls.

As we made it, I breathed a sigh of relief. "I was really getting worried there." A guttler oozed over to us, absorbing minoses and shulm. I pelted it with arrows while Gaol charged and struck with her sword. Magnus joined Gaol while Arlon stayed back with me, performing long-range attacks.

After it was defeated, a grind rail popped up. I jumped on and glided away with Arlon right above me. Lady Palutena encouraged, "Gaol, Magnus, get on. It'll take you to the destination."

I blasted monoeyes and miks along the way until the rail ended. A treasure chest stood tantalizingly close. I opened the lid, but it grew a pair of legs. I shrieked. "A mimicutie! Arlon, carry me!"

Hades bellowed, "They _always_ make me feel better when I'm having a rough day. Their legs-so refined! Fragile, yet powerful and unyielding."

As the stupid box prepared to kick me, I leapt out of the way while Gaol proceeded to kick it herself. Magnus smashed it with his club, which sent it skittering down a platform and back to the Underworld.

Eventually, we made it to the Great Reaper's mansion. I questioned, "What happened to the original owners?"

Lady Palutena shuddered. "We might see them inside."

I was confused by her aversion. "Why is that a bad thing? Humans are great!"

Magnus translated, "She means that they're probably dead."

_Corpses are a lot sadder than alive people._

A belunka flapped next to a broken window and spat out petribombers, kerons, and reapettes. We obliterated them as the belunka barfed up armin and bumbledrops. I focused on the belunka and shot it until it collapsed and then aided Arlon in taking out the armin. Gaol and Magnus defeated the bumbledrops.

Two Drinks of the Gods popped up on the floor. Lady Palutena praised, "You two worked hard to get into the palace! Hopefully this will freshen you up!"

I gulped mine down without skipping a beat. "It's my favorite beverage!"

We entered the boss room, which triggered a massive meltdown from the Great Reaper, who then grew ten times in size. Magnus and Gaol flinched. I shouted, "His weak spots are his feet and his head!" Arlon swooped upward and started going for the head, while Magnus and Gaol struck his feet.

Lady Palutena interjected, "Let me help." A launch pad appeared between the two levels, and I bounced to the top floor to aid Arlon. The Great Reaper beamed his laser, and before I could get out of the way, it grazed my foot. Swarms of reapettes chased me as I fled to the lower level.

After messing up royally a few times, finally golden light beams were exploding out of his head. Arlon launched a bolt, and it fell to the ground, utterly broken. Lady Palutena cleared her throat. "Well done, but don't go in the next room. You'll find all the dead residents."

_Way to ruin my victory moment._


	11. Smoldering Ashes

**Chapter 11**

After Arlon and I arrived back at home, Hades cracked his knuckles. "Well, well, well. Arlon's Lunar Sanctum is with Palutena's Temple. It appears that this 'alliance' is really a merge. Fine then! I'll slap Pyrrhon and I together like glue too! Imagine it . . . I'll have total control of the Aurum."

Lady Palutena blanched. "Your hunger for power will lead to your downfall as before."

Hades snorted. "I'll be twice as strong with Pyrrhon's sun god abilities. Pit here has no upgrades."

_That's what you think. I'm immortal like you now!_

I smirked at having knowledge the supreme Lord of the Underworld didn't. Blade shared my look and derided, "And yet with all these newfound advantages, you're still no better with the ladies."

Hades stepped back. "Oof! That was a good zinger, Goth Hero. How will I ever recover? Oh yes. Reminding you that I _stole_ Pit's girlfriend away from him! AHAHA!"

He left while Lady Viridi emerged from her studies. "He's evil, but at least he's good with puns."

I waited a few seconds (just to make sure Hades was really gone) before I badgered, "Did you feel a tingle in your telepathy again? Huh? Huh? Did you? Did you?"

Lady Viridi groaned at my impatience. "Yes, yes; it was stronger this time. This is a good sign. It really might be her."

I felt as though I was bathing in the biggest hot spring the world ever saw. "Perfect! Can you pinpoint its location?"

Arlon put a hand over his heart. "Oh my . . . Pyrrhon successfully grabbed the Aurum's attention."

Lady Viridi addressed me. "No. Sorry. But as I get better and better at my studies, we'll keep winning."

Lady Palutena tapped Lady Viridi's shoulder. "Would you mind if I took over Blade for a bit? I have a special project for him."

Lady Viridi nodded. "Sure." She sauntered back into her study area.

Blade put his hands on his hips. "What's it this time?"

Lady Palutena scooched closer to us. "Do you know where the remains of the Reset Bomb Depot are? I want you to collect some of the reset bombs. I know they're destroyed, but even burnt ashes would do the trick."

Blade gave her a weird look. "Why are we collecting ashes?"

Lady Palutena waved him away. "I'll explain later! Just go! I'll grant you the power of flight!"

Blade made his way to the ruins while I stood there, puzzled. "Can you explain to me?"

"I'll elaborate to everyone at once. I have an idea. Let's leave it at that."

Arlon tried teaching me to put out a whole lantern with the power of darkness until Blade came back with glass bottles full of dust. Lady Palutena squealed with joy and summoned everyone together. "I'm going to experiment on these to identify the inherent properties of the Reset Bomb Depots!"

Lady Viridi prodded, "And this is useful because . . . ?"

"I'm going to see if I can recreate a new depot! However, if I succeed, this new type of reset bomb won't harm nature, animals, OR humans. It'll eliminate Underworld forces!"

The centurions whispered amongst themselves at this news. Lady Viridi clasped her hands together. "That sounds so wonderful! Good luck!"

Lady Viridi went back to her study while I approached Lady Palutena. "Do you want some help?"

Lady Palutena tapped her chin. "Yes, I suppose I _could_ use an assistant. Arlon, care to help me?"

My excitement crashed. Since I knew that technically Arlon was Lady Palutena's commander too, I couldn't use the I'm-the-Captain-of-your-guard argument. All I could manage to speak was, "Will I do missions alone now?"

Lady Palutena shook her head. "Nope. Blade'll be your partner for a while."

Blade considered it. "I'm already your roommate. A few battles together should be good."

Lady Palutena and Arlon left to begin their work.

Blade and I played Idol Toss until it was time for dinner. Lady Palutena started cooking the mac and cheese. "Even though it's difficult to tell what the ashes are made of, we're on the right path."

Lady Viridi's lip curled. "I'm glad for that bit of good news, but I found out something terrible!"

I gasped. "What is it?!"

Lady Viridi spat out, "I was doing a project for my Divines Interacting with Humans class, and I was researching the way humans think of us. You'll never believe it! I saw this site called FanFiction, where they write stories about us!"

That didn't seem bad to me. "Creativity is a great thing! It adds color to the world!"

Lady Viridi glowered at me. "You didn't let me finish. They have these things called 'ships', where they want someone to end up romantically with another. You will not believe who the mortals think I should be with!"

Blade drily observed, "Taking your horrified manner into account, I'd have to guess Hades."

Lady Viridi blurted out, "It's Pit! YUCK!"

I grimaced. "Believe me, the feeling is mutual."

Lady Viridi ranted on, "And that's not even the weirdest part! Apart from Pit and me, they want Pit and Dark Pit together! They're twins! You would think that they would catch on to the incest taboo by now . . ."

It kept getting worse and worse. "This is the first time I ever said this, but I think I lost my appetite, Lady Palutena."


	12. The Core of the Problem

**Chapter 12**

The next morning, Lady Viridi was taking over Lady Palutena's duties, as the latter was too busy focusing on the ashes. "Okay. Today's objective is an Aurum Core. We need to weaken Pyrrhon."

I flapped my wings together in earnest. "So we can save Phosphora!"

Lady Viridi rubbed her temples. "You're far too perky this early in the morning."

Blade was prickly with her ever since she referred to him as 'Dark Pit' at dinner. "Let's get on with it. I'm curious as how you'll get yourself out of this little problem you got yourself in."

Lady Viridi crossed her arms. "What's your issue? And what are you talking about?"

Blade snapped, "Don't ever call me 'Dark Pit'! I'm my own person! Secondly, you can't grant both of us the Power of Flight at once."

"You're so annoying! I only called you that because lists you as 'Dark Pit'. That's the official name they have for you. And we still have the Lightning Chariot. You can be at the reins while I guide Pit."

I bristled. "Why don't I get to be with Phos and Lux?"

Lady Viridi answered, "Because you're klutzier."

I grumbled to myself while Blade sped off. I flew close behind.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

_That's Pyrrhon's evil laugh._

As if on cue, Pyrrhon appeared. "So Pit and Dark Pit-"

Blade corrected, "IT'S BLADE!"

Pyrrhon glanced down on him as if he as an insect. "-are here to take me on. It's like Pyrrhon Creed Number 151: Determination is the key to success. Too bad for you; it goes against Pyrrhon Creed Number 1: No one beats Pyrrhon!"

Lady Viridi jabbed, "Nobody really cares about your creed!"

Pyrrhon chuckled. "HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'd like to see the little golden boys take down this baby. With Hades and I forever connected, the Underworld Army is now upgraded with hot Pyrrhon magic! So are the Aurum!"

A group of taklaxes appeared and started shooting. Blade signaled for Phos and Lux to zap them to bits with their horns. A pair of Brawny Claws stretched out in front of the way. Blade grunted and the unicorns shot right through them and we sailed on through.

Pyrrhon suggested, "Maybe it's time to turn up the heat!"

All of the forces of evil turned a bright reddish-orange. I started screaming my face off while Blade struggled to dodge all the enemies. I fired at each one, praying that they'd eliminate the threat.

After ten minutes of freaking out, we arrived at the Aurum Core. The Lightning Chariot floated in the air and was swept away by an aura of leaves. Lady Viridi stated, "I'll bring that back. You guys can hold on to each other and I'll grant one the Power of Flight. The other will come up too."

Pyrrhon bellowed, "The little angels are here to defeat my troops? Good luck with that!"

I gobbled down a melon and apple while Blade snacked on a piece of cake and a chocolate bar.

Lady Viridi telepathically communicated, _"Remember, Blade isn't immortal like you. While your objective is the Aurum Core, make sure he doesn't get killed."_

I replied, _"Got it!"_

We sprinted into the first room where a huge plixo stood, shielding a xoneme. I waved my hands up and down. "YOO-HOO! I'm over here!" The xoneme started circling around me while Blade crept up behind it and gashed it right in the red crystal.

I kept bashing the switch that allowed access to the next area until it gave way. I sighed. "I wish we could just fly right to Core."

Lady Viridi scolded, "Yeah? Not an option!"

I rolled my eyes and almost bumped into a baglo. I shimmied around it. I warned Blade, "Don't attack it and it'll stay dormant."

A flash blinded me and the baglo activated. I jumped back. "W-what happened?!"

Pyrrhon smugly shared, "I just hit it. To jazz things up a bit. It'll make this party more interesting."

Lady Viridi shuddered. "This isn't a party. For that, I'd have to like you. Your toenails are too fungus-y for me to accept you."

Blade butted in, "Fungi are part of nature. Why don't you like it?"

Lady Viridi wrinkled her nose. "Because toenail fungus is _an infection_! It's a perversion of nature!"

Blade meleed the baglo while I shot it from a distance for a few minutes before it collapsed. Aurum Pips began to swarm the room, mercilessly taking up every square inch. I made a run for it and leapt toward a platform, pulling myself up on it. I scrambled up multiple platforms until I reached the door to the next room.

I snuck inside, waiting for Blade before confronting the denizens biding their time. I crouched into a fetal position until Blade emerged inside, panting. "The next Aurum unit I see is dead."

I popped out of hiding and blasted the Aurum Fire Wyrm to shreds while he took on the three nukleens. More taxlaxes stood in the way. I smacked one with the butt of my bow while Blade slashed maniacally with no real direction until they died.

We trudged on until we got to the Core. Pyrrhon boasted, "Good effort, but the Core's going to be hard to beat! There's twice the amount of guns, and we have some guards to boot!"

Two Drinks of the Gods appeared, and I sipped mine, taking a breather, while Blade chugged his down and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. Blade started pacing. "Come on Pit! You're taking forever!"

I narrowed my eyes. "You're going to run out of energy and be fried. Chill out."

Blade impatiently waited for me to decompress until I marched into the boss room. The Core was surrounded by a shield with guns poised to take us out. Aurum skuttlers stared us down.

_This is going to be a lot more difficult._

I started firing at the Core while Blade meleed the skuttlers. Frustrated with the shield hindering my progress, I quickly moved on to help him. As I shot them from a distance, the floor started electrocuting me. I hurried over to safe ground while we finished off the last of them.

Blade focused on the guns while I kept going for the Core. We were successful until a siren blasted from the Core, causing new waves of guns and new skuttlers to attack. I tried not to scream my head off while avoiding the guns, skuttlers, and the floor's shocks. Right as a skuttler lunged, I backflipped and he ran right into the floor, and fell as the electricity killed him.

Lady Viridi encouraged, "Keep going! You're almost there!"

I slaughtered all the guns while Blade took care of the skuttlers. We each hammered at the Core, dodging the shock floor, until more guns and guards appeared. I ignored everything except the Core. I didn't allow myself to get distracted by the shrieks of the Aurum, Blade grunting, or the pulsing floor. After a few well-placed shots, the Core exploded.

I ran over to Blade and held his hand. Lady Viridi extracted us. We floated back down to where the rest of the time were. Arlon observed, "You should soak in a hot spring."

Lady Palutena nodded. "He's right. You two look awfully sweaty. Plus, I need you at your strongest for tomorrow. It'll be a challenging day for us all."


	13. Palutena's Challenge

**Chapter 13**

After taking a hot spring bath, I ambled over to Lady Palutena. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

She held up a finger. "Not until Hades and Pyrrhon leave."

"You got us."

_Hades._

I complained, "What were you doing, hiding like that? Have you no decency?"

Blade said darkly, "I thought we were past the point of wondering if Hades had any good to him."

Hades snapped his fingers. "It just so happens that Pretty Palutena was about to reveal her next mission. Why don't you enlighten all of us?"

Lady Palutena crossed her arms. "I'm not going to let you interfere with our business."

Hades changed the subject. "Rosebud is still studying, eh? She must really want her degree. Too bad you need more than an associate's in telepathic interference in order to pierce through the Underworld's block."

Arlon sipped from his cup of tea. "It seems like even after his humiliating defeat by Young Master Pit, the Lord of the Underworld retains his cocky attitude."

_Ooh! Fancy Arlon burn!_

Pyrrhon grinned wickedly. "Pyrrhon and Hades have a special plan for you. Coming soon!"

I chose to pretend like they already left. "What's for dinner? Is it spaghetti? I'm craving spaghetti."

Lady Palutena beamed. "Oh, with Viridi here, it's going to be more delicious! She has garden fresh tomatoes for the sauce."

My stomach growled. "That's so awesome!"

Hades questioned, "Are you always this easily distracted? You have the brain of a goldfish."

Blade cupped a hand around his ear. "Did you hear something? I think I heard the wind."

Hades scoffed, "I'm wounded! I truly am. Oh well. I shouldn't complain. They're nothing compared to lovely little Phosphora's."

That pushed me over the edge. "What did you do to her? I'll take you down again!"

Pyrrhon absently shrugged. "Lots of things."

Lady Palutena squeezed my shoulder. "Don't listen to them, Pit. They're bluffing to throw you off."

Hades cackled as he and his toenail fungus friend departed.

Blade asked, "So what are we doing tomorrow that requires so much energy?"

Lady Palutena bit her lip. "We're going to see Dyntos-"

Lady Viridi burst in in a huff. "College is so hard! These professors expect me to devote my time to classes and ignore the Underworld and Aurum threat!"

Arlon tried to cheer her up. "You're doing an admirable job, Mistress Viridi."

Lady Palutena started cooking. I took the opportunity to ask about any news from Phosphora. "Were you able to reach out to Phosphora yet?"

Lady Viridi contemplated that. "No, but the connection is getting stronger and stronger. I need to get better at deflecting telepathic blocks. I'm working hard, but it'll take a while. By the way, I heard Mr. Personality outside. What did I miss?"

Blade filled her in, "He was trying to eavesdrop. Palutena caught him. Then Hades claimed that they gravely injured Phosphora."

I grew uncharacteristically queasy. "Can we change the subject? Think happy thoughts?"

Lady Palutena peered up at me in concern. "Of course we can. This merge is going a lot smoother than I feared. I'm glad that we're together."

A very random thought popped in my head. "Does Cragalanche get lonely when we all meet here for meals? Since he doesn't eat . . ."

Lady Viridi shook her head. "No. He's good. Cragalanche likes some alone time."

I still felt guilty. "Ever since he came back from the scouting mission, I never talked to him. I'm a bad friend."

Arlon stretched. "Don't blame yourself, Young Master Pit. You were adapting to a big change and are under a great deal of stress now. Cragalanche will be pleased to chat with you in the morning."

After an hour of mindless small talk, Lady Palutena placed a plate of spaghetti with fresh tomato sauce in front of us. "Dig in!"

I shoved a forkful in my mouth. "This is the best thing I've ever eaten." I continued wolfing down my dinner while relaxing.

_Maybe it'll all be okay after all._

The next morning, since I had a restful night's sleep, I was extra chipper. I sang, "We're going to see Lord Dyntos! He's gonna help us save the day! Help fight evil away! La la da da! La la di da!"

Lady Palutena debriefed, "Arlon will be you for this. Blade will stay here with Viridi."

I held my Phosphora Bow to my chest and jumped out the door. With Lady Palutena's gift, I flew triumphantly next to Arlon. "What do you think Lord Dyntos will have in store for us?"

A creaky old voice giggled. "You'll see, sonny."

Arlon greeted, "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Lord Dyntos. I am Arlon the Serene, commander of the Forces of Nature, and now by default, Palutena's Army."

Lord Dyntos was impressed. "Finally! A commander with respect! You don't know how annoying Palutena's chicken was last time!"

I scowled while a bunch of enemies soared toward us. "More of your creations?"

"Yep. I take it that you want me to repair the Great Sacred Treasures that were demolished during the fight with Hades last time. You'll need to prove your mettle again."

Lady Palutena interrupted, "Actually, no. I came to ask you to increase my power so I can create a more powerful and larger force field around our base. I need more room."

Lord Dyntos paused. "Well now. It appears I should be testing _you_, Palutena. Alright boys, I'll call off my pets. You can just come in without any hassle."

I breathed a sigh of relief. We easily got to Lord Dyntos' chamber. There were two chairs next to his throne. He patted them. "Take a seat. You can relax here while Palutena completes her challenges."

Lady Palutena arrived at the base of the room. "Ready for Trial 1."

Lord Dyntos nodded. "Your first test will show how strong you are. I need to see if you're capable of having that much power without being crushed by its weight."

Humongous blocks trickled down onto her back. She collapsed. I cried out, "Lady Palutena!"

Ever so slowly, she emerged from the rubble and started crawling. At long last, she stood up while more blocks pelted her. Lord Dyntos explained, "These blocks have as much power as the force field will. She needs to be able to withstand it."

The cycle continued for hours and into days before she was able to resist falling. Lord Dyntos clapped. "Superb! Next is a test of wisdom. What do you plan to do with the new space?"

Lady Palutena responded, "Make new reset bombs that target Underworld troops instead of humans. That way we can focus on the Aurum."

Lord Dyntos replied, "Thank you . . ." He then proceeded to ask her a bunch of questions with words I didn't understand that sounded like gibberish. But after a bit, he said, "And for your last trial . . ."


	14. Mortal Enemies

**Chapter 14**

". . . prove that you can handle the first again. I want to see how you fare."

I cringed while multiple blocks tumbled onto her again. Lady Palutena staggered, but overall kept her ground. Lord Dyntos raised his hands, and a bright white glow formed around her. "I grant you increased power. Use it wisely."

Lady Palutena curtsied. "Thank you. Come on Pit and Arlon! Time to head back! Viridi must be worried sick."

We all warped back. Blade yawned. "What took so long?"

Arlon supplied, "Mistress Palutena underwent trials, not Pit."

Blade's asked, "Did we accomplish what was necessary?"

Lady Palutena beamed. "Uh huh! Now Arlon and I will get started on creating new bombs! Starting tomorrow. I'm going to rest for a while."

"How ingenious. I give you credit, Professor Palutena."

Lady Palutena turned around to face Hades. "Thank you. Now I'm going to go in my hot spring and take a nap. Good-bye Hades." She spun on her heels and left.

Hades chatted, "Pretty Palutena needs her beauty sleep. Can't blame her. Thannypoo needs about ten hours a night."

I glowered at him. "You're a monster. Go away."

Hades shrugged. "Nonsense. The only monster is the Soul-Eating Monster. He's currently munching on chewy human souls."

Lady Viridi stomped out of her study. "Dang it Hades! It's hard to concentrate when your yapper is flapping! Be quiet!"

Hades countered, "But why would I want you to get a good grade and progress in your degree? After all, if you become proficient in telepathic interference, it'll be harder to torment you Do-Gooders. I'll have you know that while you were kissing Dyntos' feet, we've worked hard too. I resurrected some of my commanders. Taught Pyrrhon the ropes of being evil. Went on a date."

Blade snorted. "We weren't playing Two Truths and a Lie."

Hades smirked. "I wasn't either. Phosphora and I had an outing. My, my, she's an excellent kisser."

I made a disgusted noise. "That never happened. Stop being so gross."

Hades started making kissing noises and left.

I felt my blood boil. Arlon wrapped an arm around me. "Don't let him get to you. He likes to manipulate others."

Lady Viridi mused out loud, "Since Palutena's force field doubled, do you think I can move Thunder Cloud Temple here as Phosphora's base? I know she was only in it temporarily, and she likes to move around, but a permanent residence would be good for her, no?"

_More Phosphora time is always good._

I nodded eagerly. "Yep!"

Lady Viridi turned her back to us. "By the way, I'm leading your mission tomorrow, Pit. It has to do with humans. They're at war and tearing each other apart. Hades is harvesting their souls to resupply his troops."

My face fell. "Oh no! That's horrible! What happened?"

"Apparently, the Princess of Royanda is missing, and her father is blaming Corandar and declared war. The latter denies involvement, but is fighting to protect their homeland. I want you and Blade to figure out what really happened. Less bloodshed means less souls for Hades."

The next morning, Blade and I flew to down to the palace of Royanda. A few guards pointed their spears at me. "Who goes there?"

I introduced, "Pit of Palutena's Army! This is my colleague Blade. We are here to investigate what happened to the Princess."

One of the guards scoffed, "Try Corandar. They kidnapped her while she was in the royal gardens after butchering her bodyguards!"

I shivered at the evilness mortals could have. "Can we see the gardens?"

That same soldier took us around the grounds. "Here. If you want to play detective, you'll have to speak to the King."

Blade asked, "Can we see him? It's important."

He squinted. "He doesn't see just anyone."

Blade shot back, "The goddesses Palutena and Viridi aren't 'just anyone'."

The man muttered under his breath and lead us to the throne room. "Sire, these angels requested to see you on behalf of the divines Palutena and Viridi."

A chubby old man wearing a green robe and a gold crown leaned forward. "Ah, welcome! May I ask: since when did Viridi have angels?"

Blade crossed his arms. "When I joined."

The king pressed, "Did you defect?"

Blade rolled his eyes. "No. I worked for myself, then got into the Forces of Nature. Can we talk about your daughter? We're trying to find her."

He slapped his hand on the arm of his throne. "Those no good Corandars nabbed my precious! They need to be taken down a notch. Make no mistake, I will tear their pathetic country apart until I get her back."


	15. Investigation

**Chapter 15**

My heart ached at seeing this poor distraught man grieving his child. "Don't worry! We'll find her!"

Blade ran a hand through his dark hair. "Is it possible to examine the bodies of the slain guard?"

_Morbid! _

Lady Viridi snapped, _"How they died can give us a clue, dingle brain! Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty!" _

The king nodded. "Of course."

We were led to the palace morgue and the coffins. Blade ripped open their lids, much to my chagrin. I peeked inside, and saw weird blue marks on their stab wounds. The king speculated, "They must have strange magic on their side. We need to stop them."

Lady Viridi ordered, _"Okay. Get outside; I'm going to extract you now. Let's all think together over lunch." _

Food always sounded great to me. I hastily explained to the king that Blade and I had to leave and scurried out. I held onto his hand while Lady Viridi lifted us back home.

Lady Palutena asked, "Did you find out anything?"

I gushed, "Did we? Yes! We analyzed the corpses of the dead soldiers!"

Blade recapped, "There were blue marks on them. The king thinks Corandar has access to forbidden magic."

Lady Palutena seemed baffled. "That sounds suspicious. After you recover from using the Power of Flight, I'll send you there to see if you can discover their power source where Viridi and Arlon test out the bombs."

Lady Viridi put out plates of quesadillas on the table. "How are the new reset bombs coming along?"

Lady Palutena took a bite of her food. "Well enough. We're creating mini bombs to see if they react the same way as the regular ones did."

I reverted back to Corandar. "What magic could they have?"

Arlon interjected, "The only thing that rings a bell is Pandora, as she was a blue blob. However, as she regained her human form, it can't be her."

We discussed a plan until it was time for Blade and me to spy on Corandar. I took a deep breath, clutched my Phosphora Bow, and swooped downwards while Blade rode on the Lightning Chariot.

After a few minutes of obliterating Underworld forces, we got to the Corandar palace and Lady Palutena extracted the Lightning Chariot. I panted. "Whew! That was a long journey! I can feel my abs growing stronger!"

Lady Palutena corrected, "You didn't use your abs when you flew."

I replied, "Then why are my abs burning?"

Blade gestured for me to follow him away from the people. "I doubt they'll just let us know that power they have. We're going to have to snoop."

Lady Palutena encouraged, "Just pretend that they're reapers!"

I shuddered. "Nope. Not doing that. Lady Palutena, can you sense where the power's presence is?"

Lady Palutena answered, "Hold on will I use my Super Sensor. Okay, follow the green arrows."

Blade criticized, "Don't the green arrows give the enemy our destination?"

Lady Palutena didn't show any sign of annoyance at his cocky tone. "No. Humans can't see them."

We crept along the edge of the perimeter, staying out of sight. At the rear of the palace, a back door was open with no one around.

_That's convenient. Too convenient._

Nevertheless, we slipped inside only to have the door slam behind us. A familiar voice moaned, "What are you doing here?"

I whirled around to see Magnus. "What are _you_ doing here?"

He held his face in his hands. "I'm doing a stealth mission for the King of Royanda. Your turn."

Blade unholstered his Leo Cannon from his belt. "We're here to see where Corandar gets its abilities from. The wounds on the Princess' bodyguards seemed like magic."

Magnus blanched. "Magic? That makes my life harder. Can we team up?"

I checked his massive size. "You'll totally get us caught. You're huge!"

Magnus defended, "I can hide when need be. Now is definitely need be."

We lurked in the corner while servants carrying platters of fruit came and went until finally, they all congregated in the dining hall. We silently tiptoed across the corridor and got to a staircase. We all trekked down it, and got to a room with a figure on the floor.

Blade rushed toward it. "She's dead. And with the same markings as the Princess' bodyguards!"

I jogged over, flipping her over so I could see her face. Magnus sighed. "That's the Princess. They killed her."

Lady Palutena gasped. "The blue marks are emanating _from_ her! That means she's the source of the magic!"


	16. Messenger of Bad News

**Chapter 16**

I wasn't following. "But if the Princess is the source, why would she destroy her own bodyguards?"

Blade examined the body again. "No . . . it looks more like she's Patient Zero."

Magnus started pacing. "So something with magic attacked the Princess and then took out the soldiers. But who?"

Lady Palutena scowled. "I have a hypothesis. Go into the Corandar royal family's chambers undetected and eavesdrop. See if they'll say anything about the war."

We made our way back up the stairs and into the corridor. The meal ended, so the servants whirled around the hall like before.

I silently asked, _"Do you know where we have to go?"_

Lady Palutena replied, _"Yes. I've set up more green arrows." _

Thankfully, we were at the end of the hall, so we just crept up another stairwell without having to deal with them. Sadly, on the new level, instead of servants, there were just as many barbarian soldiers.

When one was moving the other way, we slid over to the next hallway where two more were stationed. When the two met at the middle and departed, we dashed across to the third corridor. Two more were standing in front of a door.

_We're not going to get by._

Magnus whispered, "I'll cause a distraction." He waltzed right up to the men. "Excuse me, but can you help me?"

One sternly demanded, "How did you get here?"

Magnus lied, "Once I explained my purpose for being here, all the soldiers let me through. They said that you could lead me to the Captain of the Guard. I'm thinking about joining the army. I'm really qualified. I infiltrated Dark Lord Gaol's stronghold where no one else could."

They exchanged glances. "Very well. We'll take you. No funny business." Blade and I smushed against the shadows in the corner while the men walked away.

I exhaled. "That was close."

Blade silently opened the door and found a couple (presumably the King and Queen of Corandar) with their backs turned away from us. Blade threw himself under the bed, and I did the same, shaking. Shooting was more of my style, not sneaking.

The Queen burst, "Why is Royanda invading? We had a truce . . ."

The King coaxed, "The King of Royanda is claiming that we kidnapped his daughter. We never did such a thing. He's clearly lying as an excuse for his lust for power."

_LIES!_

The King suggested, "Why don't you relax for a bit and go on a horseback ride? I'll be here, working on our strategy."

The Queen got up. "Oh, I hope we win this war." The door opened and closed.

The King moved to a desk. "I hope we do too. To think, Royanda would stoop so low as to throw around grave false accusations!"

_Wait. So did he really not give the order? Then why is the Princess' body in here? _

Lady Palutena instructed, _"Hold on to each other while I extract you." _

I clutched onto Blade's arm while we were teleported back to our home. Lady Palutena shook her head. "This is unbelievable. There must be a corrupt general in the Corandar Army who went behind his king's back."

That shocked me. "Why would he do that?"

Lady Palutena guessed, "Glory. He wanted to spark a war so he could lead troops in it and gain admiration from everyone. I know that was a hard mission for you. Go rest in your hot spring while I take the poor Princess' body. You're going to take her remains to her father."

I leaned back in the hot spring and stretched. "Now this is the life!" Even though we didn't battle a boss, the wears of stress were being healed.

After an hour, Arlon came back. "The mini reset bombs were a success! We need to implement bigger ones to really cause damage to our foes!"

Lady Palutena brightened. "Splendid! I can take the job from here. You're back to being Pit's partner."

Arlon folded his hands. "What is the update from you?"

I listed off, "We found the source of the magic, the Princess herself, and she's dead. Apparently, the King of Corandar didn't issue her capture. Lady Palutena thinks the King has a traitor in his trusted council."

Arlon slowly bobbed his head up and down. "Most intriguing. I wonder if we have a sorcerer on our hands."

I shrugged. "Tomorrow we're going to Royanda so they can bury her."

That evening, we all relaxed in Lady Viridi's section until it was time for bed. Blade and I trudged to our room and slept.

The next morning, Arlon and I made our journey to Royanda, with my carrying the wooden coffin containing the Princess. A group of minoses roared and lunged at us. I darted out of the way while Arlon calmly blasted them to smithereens. I groaned. "The Underworld Army wants to stop us?"

Hades munched on popcorn. "Well duh. Don't you know by now that I want you to suffer?"

Lady Viridi groaned. "Mr. Personality strikes again. What do you want?"

Hades smirked. "Entertainment. I just want to see Pitty Pat make a fool of himself in front of the king."

I glared at him while blasting a Fort Oink and dipped downward to the human world. Three wave anglers sliced the air with an energy blade and the razors almost chopped off a piece of my tunic. Monoeyes threw a single projectile at me and scurried off before either of us could react.

After more air battling, Lady Viridi dropped me off in front of the castle. Arlon gestured for the guards to move aside. They listened and allowed us to proceed into the throne room. I placed the coffin down in front of the king. "Sir, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we made a disturbing discovery in Corandar. Your daughter was murdered."

The king's eyes widened in horror and he slowly lifted the coffin's lid open . . .


	17. The Truth

**Chapter 17**

I held my breath as he viewed his child's body. "My angel! My princess! My dreams! GONE!" The king started sobbing.

A piece of my heart crumpled. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything we can do to help?"

The king didn't answer and kept bawling. Arlon hustled into the bathroom and got out a handkerchief for him. The king blew his nose in it and shoved it in his pocket. "Thank you. Both of you. We must double our efforts to crush Corandar."

I gritted my teeth anxiously. "Sir, we also found out that the King of Corandar didn't issue the kidnapping. Someone in his council betrayed him."

The king narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Oh really? Where did you hear that?"

I proudly replied, "Eavesdropping on the King and Queen! They believe that you lied when you said that your daughter was missing. Obviously you weren't, but Corandar seems to be manipulated by a rogue."

Hades pouted. "Oh boo. I was hoping he'd royally offend the king and get exiled."

The king rubbed his beard. "I'll have Magnus fish out the one responsible and obtain proof. Then I'll order the guilty party's execution. If Corandar accepts that offer, the war would end."

Hades quipped, "Can't have that! My cash cow of souls would be gone! I best thwart your little efforts!"

Lady Viridi extracted me. My shoulders sagged from the sad scene. "I feel so terrible."

Blade raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, usually when someone dies you feel that way. Did anything noteworthy happen?"

Arlon summarized, "The King was informed of Mistress Palutena's hunch. He sent out his best soldier to get results."

I finished, "But Hades is going to intervene!"

Blade determinedly smashed his right fist onto his left palm. "Then we're gonna have to help Magnus."

Lady Palutena entered the room with a happy twirl. "The reset bombs-normal size-are ready! I can now guide you on your journey along with Viridi! You'll have both of us. What happened when you delivered the body?"

I recapped everything. Lady Palutena hardened as a realization hit her. "Hmm. Even if a powerful advisor were to betray the King of Corandar, where would he get his magic? Humans don't have any abilities with it. I was so distracted with the reset bombs, I never analyzed the circumstances thoroughly."

_Hades._

Arlon stated, "Our timeless enemy, perhaps. The Underworld Army."

The annoyingly muscular boss himself appeared slowing clapping. "Losing your touch, Professor Palutena? Now I know your ultimate weakness is multitasking. I'll be certain to exploit that in the future!"

I balled my fists. "You're not welcome here!"

Hades snorted. "Settle down, Pitty. Ladies don't like a high-strung fellow. Especially Phosphora. You should've seen her when Thannypoo started hitting on her. Quite a sight to see. It was like a rematch of the battle they had. You know, the one where Pitty Pat went to his girlfriend's home and challenged her to fight. Goodness, what a gentleman."

My stomach dropped at his last two sentences. Before we were dating, Phosphora and I indeed met in battle and I said some mean things I wish I never said. She did take it in stride and punched back, though.

An image of me shooting at her broke my heart. I was the aggressor. I was out to hurt her. In fact, I finished her while she was still wounded. What a hero.


	18. Rebound

**Chapter 18**

I slunk out of the room and made a beeline for my hot spring. I could hear Hades' wicked laughter in the background and footsteps behind me. I expected Lady Palutena to embrace me, but once the footsteps hesitated, I looked up and saw Lady Viridi.

She slowly walked over to me. "Palutena thinks I should handle this. To be honest, I'll give it my best shot. Look Pit, don't blame yourself for what happened during the Lightning Battle. It was my fault for ordering my commanders to destroy humans. I put her in harm's way."

I turned away from her. "But _I _was the harm. I hurt Phosphora."

Lady Viridi countered, "She also attacked you."

I shook my head. "_I_ went into Thunder Cloud Temple,_ I_ fought my way to her, and _I_ instigated the battle. I really am a bad guy after all."

She slung an arm around me. "That's not true. Besides, it really was my error of judgement. And Hades currently has Phosphora-and he's torturing her! Letting Thanatos hit on her! Disgusting! You better get out there and you better make them pay!"

Rehearing Thanatos' encounter with my girlfriend relit my inner anger at the Underworld Army. "Yeah! Arlon, Magnus, and I are gonna wipe the floor with 'em!" I bounced back to the room I ran out of. "Hey Hades! You're going down!"

Hades clasped his hands together. "Look at that pep in your step! I'm glad that my little punch about your lady didn't knock you off your feet. My, my, it's like you had a successful trip to the Rewind Spring! Now I'm off to plan for your demise! Good-bye!"

I observed, "We haven't seen too much of Pyrrhon lately."

Lady Palutena shrugged. "He doesn't care for banter like Hades. It's time for you to head off to bed. You'll need to be well-rested to aid Magnus tomorrow."

The next morning, I woke up from a particularly wonderful dream of being licked by countless puppies. Lady Palutena gave me a quick hug. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Pit. Hades loves to psychologically manipulate his opponents. I know you know that, but I thought it would be best to repeat it."

Arlon munched on his breakfast. "Have a phoenix egg omelet. Delicious!" I helped myself for five seconds-when it was all gone.

Lady Palutena instructed, "Now that you've eaten, let's go on to today's mission: figure out the corrupt Corandar advisor who struck a deal with Hades. I'll fly you to where Magnus is, and you, him, and Arlon will devise a plan from there. Naturally, I'll still brainstorm as we progress."

I beamed. "This is going to be great! I'll be all detective! 'Where were you the night of the kidnapping?' 'What's your alibi?' and 'I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, PUNK!'"

Arlon praised, "Always a day of fun with the Young Master Pit!"

I gasped as a unit of gloomerangs chucked swords at us. I shot them with my bow while Arlon blasted them with his energy beams. Collins started to congregate amongst us. I meleed them to oblivion while Arlon continued his routine.

After annihilating monsters, we finally landed near the Corandar castle. Magnus strode over to us. "I see you're on the job as well."

I nodded. "Of course! You need all the help you can get with Hades putting a target on your back!"

Magnus smirked. "Good. About time that rat noticed who I am and what he did to me. Took my child."

I immediately felt bad for the guy. "I'm sorry. Let's make Hades pay by figuring out which creep sided with him!"

We sprinted to the entrance. I straightened. "I am a member of Palutena's Army. I demand an audience with the king. It's about your war with Royanda."

One of the guards vented, "Oh yeah. Those pompous fools! They think they can just slander us with their lies! We'll show them!"

Magnus looked ready to explode. Arlon hastily smoothed things. "May we enter? We have a message that the goddess believes is important."

The soldiers examined my wings and guessed I was telling the truth. They opened the door and we slide in. I rushed forward where the King and Queen were standing. "Excuse me! I have an important message!"

The Queen turned around and saw me. "An angel! Is the goddess Palutena sending aid to us?"

I frowned. "No. She aims to stop the war. Lady Palutena knows something that you may find disturbing."

The King's eyes popped open. "What?"

There was no easy way to say it, so I blurted, "You were betrayed by one of your closest advisors."


	19. What REALLY Happened

**Chapter 19**

The King scowled. "How do you know this?"

I crossed my arms. "Lady Palutena wanted me to investigate the claims of both countries. I found the Princess of Royanda's body in this very castle."

The Queen gasped. "It can't be!"

Arlon cut in, "Hades has already admitted to meddling. We believe that he convinced one of your advisors to betray you. The King of Royanda says that if you execute this traitor, he will cease war."

The King's head bobbed up and down. "Yes, of course! We don't desire war."

Magnus offered, "We'll look into it for you."

The King spoke, "Please, give our sincerest apologies to the King of Royanda."

Arlon smiled. "We shall. Can you please round up your advisors? We would appreciate if we could interview them all separately."

The King agreed, "Anything to get this matter resolved."

The Queen interjected, "Hades, the Lord of the Underworld, is ultimately responsible?"

I wasn't sure how to answer her. "Well, your rotten egg worked with him. Hades gave him powers to kill the Princess and her bodyguards. Hades wants war because human causalities bolster his army."

The King's lip curled. "How disgusting. In these times, it is truly a blessing to have Palutena watching over us."

Arlon's eyebrows furrowed together. "You forgot my Mistress Viridi. She is also working just as hard."

The Queen put her hands on her hips. "Oh, that's right. I forgot about the new relationship humans have with her. It's hard to believe how we went from being Viridi's prey to her 'protectees'."

The King cleared his throat. "Right then. I'll summon all of my councilors to the Great Hall. They'll all wait outside it while you interview one."

Hades complained, _"This is going far too well! Why does that oaf believe you without any evidence?"_

Lady Palutena rolled her eyes. _"Probably because the mortals trust me and know I wouldn't send Pit to deceive them." _

Hades decided, _"Pitty is becoming too good of a smooth talker. I miss the old days where Dyntos almost smited him for accidentally being offensive. I suppose I'll have to stop this little effort with brute force. MINIONS, ATTACK!" _

Snowmen suddenly broke through the windows, paramush floated down the chimney, guttlers charged through the front door, and frozums crystallized into existence. The people all screamed and fled.

I automatically went for the guttler before it could get more powerful and started shooting it like crazy. Arlon struck the frozums out of the air. The guards in the room shot down the paramush and impaled them with their swords.

We sprinted to the Great Hall where the advisors were waiting. The King took out his weapon. "It appears that the Lord of the Underworld intends on wiping us out. Quickly now! Do your business so he has no more reason to be here!"

Arlon gestured for the first person to come in. I chose to be 'Bad Cop'. "Why did you do it? Huh? HUH?!"

He squinted at me. "What're you talking about?"

I raved, "Don't you blame dumb with me, little boy! I know what you did! Your Hades' cohort! YOU made a deal with him, YOU kidnapped and murdered the Princess of Royanda, and YOU killed her bodyguards to start a war so YOU can gain glory in battle!"

The man appeared baffled. "I would do no such thing!"

Lady Palutena intervened, _"I sense he is telling the truth. It's not him. Onto the next!" _

After an hour of interviewing (and me yelling at people while Arlon offered to make them tea), we were down to the last guy. When he sat down in front of us, I dramatically slammed my teacup onto the table. "So, you're the trash that needs to be taken out."

He raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Arlon scolded me. "Nonsense! This man would never stoop to such a low level. Clearly he has the demeanor of a nobleman."

I scoffed, "Yeah right! He looks like a villain! He totally made a pact with Hades and attacked the Princess of Royanda."

He glowered at me. "Too bad for you, 'cause I didn't do it."

Lady Palutena paused. _"How strange. None of them seemed guilty to me. How can that be possible? With my Special Human Sensor, I can peer into their hearts."_

A voice butted in. "_HA HA HA HA HA HA! For the goddess of wisdom, Palutena is pretty stupid!" _

I defended her. _"Shut your mouth, Pyrrhon! What are you even doing here? This concerns Hades, not you." _

Pyrrhon smugly revealed, _"While you were playing detective, I rebuilt the Aurum. It's like they were never hit!" _

Hades chimed in, _"And I reanimated some of my generals! Quite the distraction, eh? Maybe I should be the new god of wisdom!" _

Lady Palutena massaged her temples. _"Explain." _

Hades grinned malevolently. _"Of course I can enlighten you, Pretty Palutena! Now, starting a war between the two dinky countries would make my army stronger. You already know that. The kicker is, none of those Corandar fools talked to me! I arranged the capture and slaying of the Princess with my own forces! You were all duped!" _


	20. Evil's Fury

**Chapter 20**

I gasped out loud. "Your Majesty!" I ran back into the throne room where rozes started polluting the air around us. "Your Majesty! You weren't betrayed! Hades framed you!"

The King sank his blade into a brawny claws' scalp. "I see. Well, the fact that all my councilors are loyal is a bit of good news amongst this rubble."

Arlon burst in and began pelting very hideous monomiknoses. "It was all a ruse to recover from their losses in battle!"

A fierce cackle pierced the air. "Have you missed me, boys?"

I made a disgusted sound. "Ew! It's Pandora!"

Pandora herself strolled through the entrance and marched up to me. "'Ew'? 'Ew'? You're talking to the goddess of calamity! I can smite you in five seconds! Learn to respect your Auntie Pandora, weasel!"

The venom in her voice surprised me. "Whoa. Relax. You should really get back into yoga and macrobiotics."

She raised her fist at me. "You'll pay for that insult!"

Pandora summoned bombs and sent them around the room, exploding and killing many of the soldiers present. I followed my usual strategy of shooting from a distance, while Arlon hovered in the air and blacked out the room.

Since I was on his side, I easily made out Pandora's outline and continued assaulting her. When the lights went back on, I wiped sweat off my forehead. "This is a lot of running! I know I have beautiful thighs, but this is a little much."

Pandora made a snarky comeback. "Where is that gumption you had when climbing the tower of the Lightning Chariot? Now you're winded in a boss battle."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "Boohoo!"

As the King lunged for a hit, she crumpled to the floor. "Ow! You got me!"

I shook my head. "It's a trap! Everyone get away from her!" Pandora's Boxes appeared and covered the perimeter of the room. I yelled, "The boxes will kill you! Don't get near them!"

A bomb exploded in my face. I was blasted into a box, where another explosion sent my head spinning.

Hades cheered, _"Brava Pandora! Brava! Bonus points if you set his wings on fire!" _

I seethed out loud, "That's not nice!"

I used Health Recovery to restore my health while Arlon dealt the finishing blow. The room returned to normal. I rushed over to the King. "How many causalities?"

The King heaved a sigh. "Many. Thankfully, my wife is still safe. Please, go to Royanda and end the war. We'll finish up here."

Lady Palutena stated, _"You've done enough for today. Let's get you home." _

Before saying a word to anyone, I hopped into my hot spring in an attempt to shake off what happened.

_So Hades worked alone in order to distract us. _

_And we fell for it. _

I shook my head slightly while Blade came in. "I can't believe he worked alone."

I nodded. "It was pretty unexpected. Now we have to work double to take Hades and Pyrrhon down."

Blade comforted, "Palutena already dropped a reset bomb on some Underworld troops, and I'm on a mission tomorrow to take out some more Aurum Cores. We ain't slouching."

I stepped out of the spring, refreshed. "Fabulous. What's my objective?"

He looked at me like I had three Hewdraw heads. "Report back to the King of Royanda. There still can't be a war between the countries. Otherwise, Hades' army will grow. He may have duped us, but we still had to do what we did."

I face-palmed. "I totally forgot about that. Is Cragalanche doing anything, or is he just relaxing?"

Blade answered, "He's a spy; he blends in with the environment and tell us what he spots. We've learned a lot of Aurum positions that way."

Lady Viridi entered. "Hey Pit-since you've been a little down in the dumps lately, I decided to get you a present."

I cheered up right away. "Gift?! Where?! Where?!"

She smirked. "It's coming soon, like now."

A huge WOOSH sound hurt my ears. "Ow! What was that?"

Lady Viridi seemed exasperated. "That's Thunder Cloud Temple moving here! Phosphora has a base here now!"

The next morning, Arlon and I were ready to finally wrap up all the human drama. I zoomed through the clouds past . . . wheels of cheese? I squealed, "Can I please please please have just one cheese wheel?"

Lady Palutena replied, "Those aren't food; they're kolma. Don't eat them."

I groaned. "That's an evil trick! I'm so hungry!"

I dodged their attacks and meleed them out of existence. Pyrrhon shrilled, "Weak little . . . weakling! We've recharged while you fly around like a bug. Which is why my Pyroblaster will obliterate you!"

I gulped. "Um . . . this won't get in the way, will it?"

Lady Palutena assured, "I've got this!"

My vision was soon clouded with hot red light while my body automatically moved around to avoid burns. I closed my eyes until it was all over. "That was scary."

Pyrrhon laughed. "You've survived a dose of Pyroblaster? Good job! Now you get rewarded with an even more painful death!"


	21. Switched Focus

**Chapter 21**

That wasn't too pleasing. "What do you mean?"

In a flash, I was hurtling towards the planet. Pyrrhon bragged, "You'll splatter into a pancake! I blocked Palutena's power!"

I screamed, "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I STILL NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ! TELL PHOSPHORA I LOVE HER!"

I kept falling at a rate that startled even the Underworld and Aurum enemies, and just as the ground came into view, I dipped upward. Pyrrhon sputtered, "B-but how?! Pyrrhon is the ultimate! No one can overcome him!"

Lady Palutena mockingly examined her fingernails. "Do you remember what you told me last time? 'You don't have an associate's degree in telepathic interference'. Well guess what?! I have a bachelor's now!"

_OOH! TAKE THAT _BURN_ PYRRHON! Get it, because he's the sun god? _

_ And I'm talking to myself . . . _

I skyrocketed to Royanda, with Arlon hot on my heels. I hurried to the castle and caught the attention of the soldiers standing guard. "I have the news!" They opened the doors and we bustled in to find the king on his throne. I skidded to a halt. "It was Hades! All him! He framed Corandar! We got him to confess!"

Hades made a disgusted noise. _"Really? Telling on me? Tattle-tale! Tattle-tale!"_

The king stood. "Thank you. We will cease the fighting. Praise be to Palutena for resolving this!"

Arlon added, "And Mistress Viridi!"

The king raised an eyebrow. "Oh. Yes. She's with Palutena, correct?"

I confirmed, "Yeah! Now the Forces of Nature protect humanity too! It's a great change!"

Lady Viridi clapped her hands. _"Oh awesome! I was able to break through Pyrrhon's block for a little bit! I heard Phosphora!" _

I felt my eyes pop open. _"What did she say?" _

Lady Viridi repeated, _"Help." _

Lady Palutena extracted me from battle. I skipped over to Lady Viridi. "Any other news?"

Lady Viridi frowned. "Ugh . . . no. Sorry. But the connection is gaining strength. Now that the pathetic humans are all happy again, it's time to start hitting hard! Tomorrow you, Arlon, and Blade are going to go after the Aurum Generator. It'll take down the fleet."

I pumped my fist in the air. "Sounds good!"

Cragalanche heaved himself into the room. Lady Viridi lit up. "Oh great! Anything I need to know?" Cragalanche shook his head and plopped down on the floor.

Blade suggested, "Let's take our minds off all this conflict and play Idol Toss."

After a few hours, I collected Thanatos and Lady Viridi idols. "Ugh, I'm getting bored. Can we play something else?"

Arlon offered, "We can continue your darkness training. We can keep working with lanterns."

I spent the next four hours training, and at last I was able to put out a lantern. "I'm killin' it! What's the next move? Can I blackout the entire room yet?!"

"No. Next is a hearth."

Lady Palutena walked in. "Hey Pit. Can we talk? And no, you're not in trouble."

I followed her outside. She started, "I feel really badly about your decreased mood. Please, don't blame yourself for what happened at the Lightning Battle. It's not your fault."

My shoulders slumped. "I still feel guilty, and I might always, but I'm pushing aside those feelings for now. Phosphora needs me to be there for her."

Lady Palutena met my gaze. "If you're sure. But if they crop up, talk to me. Forcing them down is usually bad for your health."

I stared at the ground. "I suppose so."

The words bounced in my head until it was time to go after the Generator. Zrink blocked our path as fire wyrms threw themselves at us. Hades commented, "Look at the rag-tag misfit gang! It's so inspiring how after that giant blow to your ego, you're all going for the Generator. Old Pyrrhon here is trembling in his boots."

Pyrrhon snickered. "Pyrrhon's not afraid of anything! Pyrrhon Creed Number 471: Fear is an illusion!"

I wasn't too sure about that. "I'm pretty certain that emotions aren't illusions."

Keron coughed up lasers that I managed to avoid, while more and more splin kept trying to cut me up.

Arlon, Blade, and I kept fighting them until we arrived at the destination. Hades rubbed his hands together. "Dazzling light show in 3, 2, 1!" The entrance exploded and the metal exterior melted.

Blade complained, "Now what do we do?"

Lady Palutena assured, "Don't panic! I'll find another way in!" I floated above the building and flew into a vent.

I sneezed. "Yuck! It's dusty in here!"

Soon, Blade and Arlon were right behind me. Pyrrhon did a very odd dance. "Time for some fireworks!" The vents behind us were engulfed in flames.

I screamed, "It's getting hot in here!"

All three of us shot into a room. I laid down on the floor. "Oh thank Palutena! That was horrible!"

Blade kicked me. "Get up! We have a job to do!"

_Can't a guy get a break around here?_


	22. Moon vs Sun

**Chapter 22**

After a bit of chiding, I got up and munched on a few donuts Lady Palutena left for me. Hades remarked, "I never realized just how fragile you are. It's a miracle how you're still alive."

I grumbled under my breath and jumped into the next room. Aurum miks thrashed their tongues around grotesquely. I blasted through them all, and turned around an obscure corner. I saw the entrance to a Zodiac Chamber and shimmied to the warp. I sprinted to the altar where a Leo Cannon waited for me.

Lady Viridi explained, "Like the Aquarius Blade you found earlier, this version of the Leo Cannon is more powerful." I warped back out and rejoined the others, showing off my find.

Blade's mouth shifted to the right. "If only you were this good at finding Zodiac Chambers in general. This is what, your second?"

I gave him a withering look and confronted a league of biota in the following hall. I waited for them to shoot red balls at us and then reflected them back, shattering them all in swift motions.

Pyrrhon chuckled. "Well, looks like it's time to TURN UP THE HEAT!"

Lady Viridi sarcastically said, "Very clever!"

The walls started closing in. I shuffled to the other side, narrowly avoiding getting squished. Blade got through right behind me, but Arlon was nowhere to be found. I hollered, "ARLON!"

I saw the walls mash up against his body and his last sucked breath. Pyrrhon boasted, "If you play with fire, you're going to get burned."

I snapped, "Enough with your puns!"

Lady Viridi cracked her knuckles. "I'll revive him, just like how Palutena revived you when you got finished." In a few moments, Arlon was back where he started, and this time glided across with ease.

My muscles started to relax and we headed up to the next story. A legion of claxises chucked deadly orbs at our heads. I threw a grenade back at them while Blade meleed them to bits.

We forged on until there were two shiny exotanks practically begging to be used. I hopped into one and cruised through the track to get to the exit. Since Arlon could fly, he simply zipped over, while Blade was behind me (again).

After climbing up three floors, we made it to the Generator. We each gulped down a glass of the Drink of the Gods and stepped in. I pointed at the grind rails. "I take it that Blade and I have to ride on these while dueling to the death?"

Lady Palutena answered, "Good deductive reasoning!"

I wasn't sure what that phrase meant. "Um . . . what?"

Lady Palutena simplified, "You're right."

I enthusiastically bopped my head up and down. "That makes sense!"

Blade and I started riding the rails while Arlon hovered in place. Pyrrhon cleared his throat. "Why don't we go a little higher in the Fiend's Cauldron?" Fire waves pelted the Generator, sending its shields to spin double-time, and energy blasts of pure magma spouted from them.

I squeaked, "How many hits do we have to land on it?"

Lady Viridi encouraged, "You got this! It's just a little bright thing."

Arlon froze. "Aha! Thank you for inspiring me, Mistress Viridi!"

The light in the room flickered off. The Generator still shone so Blade and I knew were to strike, but the shields couldn't figure out where we were and started to go on the fritz. I volleyed so many arrows at it that my fingers became sore.

Pyrrhon screamed, "NO ONE COUNTERACTS PYRRHON'S MOVES!" He hurled flames into the room, and the lights blinked back on.

Arlon and Pyrrhon kept up their game of 'Lights On Lights Off' until Blade dealt the final blow. Blade ran his hand through his hair. "I hope you're not afraid of the dark, Pyrrhon, 'cause your little nightlight just burnt out."


	23. The Brains of the Operation

**Chapter 23**

Once I made it back home, Lady Viridi had us all huddle together. "I was able to talk to Phosphora! I told her that we were on our way. I could sense her relief."

Lady Palutena brightened. "Not only that, but because of Viridi's newfound connection, I'm able to further pinpoint where Phosphora is being held! It appears as though she's trapped in the western part of the Underworld."

I frowned. "Do we have a map of the Underworld, by any chance?"

Lady Palutena tapped her chin. "I suppose you could look for one in the cereal boxes. Who knows, maybe it happens to be a prize!"

Arlon turned to me. "Young Master Pit, would you like to train some more? Hearths won't extinguish themselves." I eagerly followed him to train.

I was still struggling when Blade popped in. "Dinner's ready. By the way, our mission tomorrow is the Aurum Brain."

Arlon surmised, "So the plan is to destroy Pyrrhon's army and leave him defenseless?"

As I skipped to the kitchen, Hades' dumb projection appeared like it always did. "Evening, buzzkills! I missed you today."

Lady Viridi sipped her lemonade. "The feeling isn't mutual."

Hades went on, "You all seem to be cracking. Professor Palutena is losing her insight and you needed three commanders to take out the Generator."

I hissed, "Go rot in the Underworld where you belong."

Hades smirked. "I'm not the one rotting in a cage. Your girlfriend is. Be nice, Pitty Pat. I could have molten lava poured on lovely little Phosphora at any second of any day."

I almost threw up my potatoes. "Don't even!"

Lady Viridi rolled her eyes. "I've heard of men getting mad about being rejected, but this outdoes them all. So you'll always be single. Deal with it."

Hades chuckled. "As prickly as always, Rosebud. I bet that one day you and me will be quite the item."

Lady Viridi dropped her fork. "That is the most disturbing thing I ever heard!"

Blade raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? More disturbing than the stories the humans wrote about you ending up with Pit?"

Hades belted out a belly laugh. "That is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have a riveting discussion with Phosphora."

I shook my fist at him as he disappeared. "After I demolish you again, I'm going to steal your Armageddon Tuxedo and wear it on my first date with Phosphora!"

I was still proud of my comeback when it was time to leave for the Aurum Brain. Since everyone seemed to be downcast, I sang my victory song. "I will go soaring the sky! My enemies I'll dish 'em up in a stir fry! The gracious goddess looks on from above! At dinnertime I show the cook some love!"

Lady Viridi's eye twitched. "Half of that song was about food. HALF. Get a hobby! I'm getting tired of you loitering around chomping on my bean dip."

Arlon grimaced. "On that note, let's be off."

I took off while Arlon criticized, "Don't wear yourself out before we get there."

I muttered under my breath while a wave of shulm burst near us, their poison seeping into our lungs. I faltered a little while Arlon was able to weave out of the way. Blade also wasn't as lucky, and we were coughing our organs out when Pyrrhon taunted, "It's always wonderful to see my enemies get inflamed."

Aurum shemum advanced towards us menacingly. I felt my jaw drop to the ground (which was a very, very dangerous drop from where I was). "Aurum shemum can fly now?"

Lady Viridi jabbed, "The only ones who still need their flying training wheels are you and Blade!"

Blade blasted them with his Viridi Palm while I shot them down with my Phosphora Bow. Lady Palutena announced, "We're approaching the Aurum Brain Fortress. Luckily, there's a path that leads right to the Brain, so no land battle is needed!"

Pyrrhon spun around in a weird dance. "Pyrrhon wouldn't be too sure if he was you!"

The passageway immediately broke. The ceiling cracked and fell into the endless void of space while the walls shuttered. I accelerated towards the debris instead of away. I panicked. "What's going on?!"

Lady Palutena replied, "We can still make it! Don't be a chicken! It's just fire!"

I vented, "Sure! Before on our last adventure 'it's just wind', and now 'it's just fire'!"

Blade started screaming as Lady Viridi catapulted him ahead. Both of us faltered at the sight of the hulking mechanical machine. Sensing our presence, tribytes and jyok rose to defend the Brain.

I felt my insides backflip while Arlon joined us. Pyrrhon cackled. "The defenses have beefed up since you last faced off it."

I gloated, "You mean when _you_ were controlled by the Aurum Brain and I took you out!"

Aurum specknoses and a suit of skuttler advanced towards us. Lady Palutena presumed, "Hades sent help?"

I focused on shooting the Brain while Blade and Arlon were taking out minions. After I nicked it a few times, it glowed orange and gamma rays sprayed everywhere. I shrieked while Arlon simply flew out of the way.

I honed in my senses and only thought about hitting the Brain as much as possible while avoiding fire. Lady Viridi warned, "The power of flight is running out! Hurry up or we'll have to extract you and Arlon will have to fight all on his own!"

I really didn't want that. I continued hammering on the Brain, ignoring the little monsters that were trying to distract me. "I'm doing as much as I can!"

Pyrrhon released a belly laugh that sounded like his gut was going to burst. "Your game is so over!"

Blade kept hacking away at the Brain's guards while I was still going after the Brain. Under the time crunch, I started panicking. As sweat dripped down my wings, a gamma ray blasted me in the face.

The goddesses cried out, "3, 2, 1! Extraction!"

I aimed one last shot at the Brain. The arrow sliced through the air and pierced its core. The Brain cracked, and before I knew it, I was back home.


	24. Fighting Friends

**Chapter 24**

I collapsed on the couch in Lady Viridi's section. "That was way too close!"

Lady Palutena handed me a smoothie. "Great work! Tomorrow you're going to go against Hewdraw. You and Arlon can handle him on your own. Blade will help me with the reset bombs. We're launching two on the Underworld forces."

I pondered about my experiences with the beast. "Hewdraw has to be my favorite villain. Pretty polite and encouraging. A lot more than Lady Viridi."

The goddess in question retorted, "Still not getting my bean dip!"

Blade shook his head, vexed with my observation. "No. You've gotta be tough. No compliments. No mercy. Just fight!"

Arlon entered the room. "It was a rather long flight from the Aurum base. I do hope that our next journey will be much closer."

Lady Palutena assured, "Much! It's actually back on the surface world."

Lady Viridi shot up. I took out my bow. "Are you okay?"

She held up a hand and curled into a fetal position on the floor. Ten minutes later, Lady Viridi stood up. "I communed with Phosphora. She's in bad shape."

My stomach dropped. "What do you mean?"

I slurped on my smoothie for comfort when Lady Viridi fiddled with her hands. "Hades wasn't bluffing. They really did torture her. I can sense the pain wracked into her body."

I slammed my drink down on the armrest. "They'll have a lot to answer for!"

Blade blanched. "Definitely. Pyrrhon's forces are all defeated. All we have left are Hewdraw, Twinbellows, and Thanatos."

My heart hammered in my chest that night. I poked Blade. "I can't sleep."

He rolled over. "Don't bother me."

I glowered at him and ambled into the hall. Cragalanche noticed and scooted over to me. I waved. "Hey Cragalanche. Hope you're good. I'm just freaking out about Phosphora being in trouble. It hurts to see someone you care about suffer."

Cragalanche patted my back. I looked up at him. "What should I do? I can't sleep because of all this built up in me."

Another minute passed before it hit me. "I guess Lady Palutena would be okay with helping me."

I tiptoed into her bedroom. A centurion knight loudly exclaimed, "Captain! Hello!"

Lady Palutena sat up with a jolt. "Pit, what are you doing in here?"

I sat on the edge of her bed. "You told me if I got overwhelmed to see you. I can't rest knowing what Phosphora's going through."

She smiled. "I see. For tonight, try focusing on chatting happily with the blue Hewdraw head. The blue is your favorite, right? It might relax you."

As I trotted back to bed, I imagined meeting the blue head.

_I approached the riverbank where Blue Hewdraw was swirling around. "Oh, hey there. How's life treating you?" _

_ Blue Hewdraw flicked his tail. "Just _swimmingly_! Ahaha! And how's the number one angel feeling?" _

_ I plopped down and started eating grapes. "Perfect when I'm chowing on food. You know, you're a lot nicer than the other Underworld leaders." _

_ Blue Hewdraw blushed. "Aw! Chucks! Thank you. So I hear that you're getting even better at fighting." _

_ Suddenly I was drenched in water. I accused, "Stop splashing me!" _

I found myself in our room with Lady Viridi standing over me with an empty bucket in her hands. I glanced down to see my bed soaked. I leapt up and flapped my wings together to dry them. "You totally threw water on me!"

She smirked. "Well, you weren't getting up. You left me with no choice."

I crossed my arms. "You seem more than eager to do that."

Lady Viridi giggled. "What can I say? I love my job!"

After going through the morning routine, Arlon came over to me. "Are you ready for today's battle?"

I cheered, "Absolutely! We've got this in the bag!"

Lady Viridi summarized, "Hewdraw is in Decimated Town. Except it's not decimated anymore. Just currently flooding because Hewdraw is messing with the tides. He's corrupting the natural order! Go take care of him!"

I cut through the clouds as I zipped towards the destination. Tortolunk spun toward me, but I managed to dodge them. Hades creeped in and started clapping. "You can do it, underlings! If you take out the bozo, you'll get free soda just like Thannypoo!"

Lady Viridi snarled, "What is it this time?"

Hades feigned offense. "Your coldness crushes my heart!"

I meleed a few komaytos while jumping in the conversation to joke, "Actually, I crushed your heart with my Burning Palm during your last invasion!"

Hades said nothing but announced, "Kill the twerp and you get free soda and free popcorn!"

Arlon struck down a Fort Oink. "Your sparkling wit is always up to par, Young Master Pit."

Lady Viridi scratched her chin. "Hmm. Maybe I should send some dibble dops to keep you company."

Hades remarked, "This is why I wish to kill everything. Your irritating names for your troops ignite a fire in me that burns with hatred."

The Decimated Town came into view as a legion of corals growled at us. That surprised me. "Huh. I didn't think plants could do that."

Lady Viridi grit her teeth. "Corals are animals."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop messing with me!"

Her eyes practically popped out. "I. AM. NOT. CORAL. ARE. ANIMALS."

Hades started filing his nails. "Looks like Pitty here needs a science lesson."

Arlon chimed in, "Coral are indeed animals."

I shook my head. "Fine, whatever! Let's just focus on the mission!"


	25. The Color Purple

**Chapter 25**

I blazed past the coral (which apparently were animals) while a wave of handoras threw their weird yellow energy balls at me. I dodged them while scanning That Decimated Town for any signs of Hewdraw. The only clues appeared to be the trail of destruction.

I hovered down to the ground for Land Battle and fought the urge to eat the snacks Lady Viridi provided for Arlon. After a few minutes, I stuffed the donut in my mouth. Lady Viridi accosted, "Pit! What's wrong with you?!"

Hades quipped, "Isn't it obvious? He has no self-control."

I huffed, "I will have you know that I _can_ exhibit self-control. Sometimes."

Hades assumed, "The same rate as when you get a great idea?"

He had me there. "Yep! You always know what you'll get from me. I'm very dependable that way."

Arlon slowly descended next to me. "I see that you have helped yourself to some refreshments. Mind if I join you?"

I shook my head as we both munched on fruit. Arlon sighed contently. "I believe I am ready for the next phase of battle. Are you ready, Young Master Pit?"

I pumped my fist in the air. "I was born ready!"

We rushed through the town square to find leoxes driving around chasing people. I searched around for an exotank.

Hades randomly whipped out a nail filer and started grooming himself. "If you're looking for an exotank, don't bother. There isn't one. I'm making this hard on you."

I stuck my tongue out at the sky and withdrew my bow, raining down arrows of pain. Arlon launched his energy attacks and after a few minutes it was all clear. Lady Viridi helped, _"I'm pretty sure there's a Zodiac Chamber in here! Find it!" _

I saluted her. "Aye aye!" I kept an eye out for any hidden path that might lead to treasure but couldn't find any possible route. A stackjaw abruptly grew about five feet and spit out lasers. I dove out of the way while Arlon swooped into the air.

I shot it to a pulp and exhaled. "That was close. I think it burnt off some of my hair."

Arlon and I continued onward until the gate behind us snapped closed. I hurried over to the lock. "What's going on?!"

Purple Hewdraw slithered over. "I wanted to make sure my lunch didn't run away!"

I corrected, "It's actually brunchtime."

Hades droned, "He would know that."

Lady Viridi reminded, "I know you like Hewdraw, Pit, but he's the enemy!"

I refuted, "Actually, I only like Blue Hewdraw. You know, the blue head. I'm more than happy to eliminate Purple Hewdraw! He's such a jerk!"

Purple Hewdraw cackled. "You'll be awfully tasty! I can just picture how delectable you are!"

Arlon's eyes shown with a weird red symbol. "I believe it's now lights out." All light from the arena evaporated.

_Ooh. He's gettin' serious! I like it!_

I shot arrows and quickly darted around so Purple Hewdraw couldn't discern my location from the direction of my attacks. Arlon was able to just be in the air where Purple Hewdraw couldn't reach (lucky).

The lights came back on after a few minutes. Arlon kept doing his energy blast routine while I struggled on the ground to avoid Purple Hewdraw's crazed lunges. I called out, "Hey Arlon, can you carry me up there? It would make my job a lot easier!"

Arlon innocently replied, "I would love to, but I don't know if I can carry you and attack at the same time."

Hades snarkily jumped in, "Plus Pitty Pat is heavy from all he eats!"

I reprimanded, "Hey! Weight jokes aren't funny! That's just mean!" I continued firing at Purple Hewdraw until it screamed. "No! No! I was supposed to become a model!" He fell on the floor.

Lady Viridi praised, "Well done! The purple one is no more!"

I did a little victory dance. "Hooray! Onto Pink Hewdraw!"

Hades taunted, "You did all that fighting, and you're only thirty-three percent done! How does it feel?"


	26. Pretty in Pink

**Chapter 26**

As we crossed over a drain, I paused. "You know, maybe the Zodiac Chamber's in here."

I leapt down, and a vicious ganewmede lurked in the corner. I observed, "You know, it's hard to believe that one of the most tiresome creatures evolved from the monoeye."

Lady Viridi replied, "Always beware the meek ones! They always have tricks up their sleeves if you mess with them! Kind of like you, Pit! While you're all sweet and cuddly, Blade proves that if the need arises, you'll be as prickly as a cactus."

I wasn't sure whether I should be flattered or offended, so I ignored her and noticed that one of the walls was a lighter shade of blue. I poked it, but found that my finger went straight through. "Aha! Trick wall!"

I ran through the narrow pathway until the familiar Zodiac Chamber entrance lit up the damp atmosphere. I slid on top of it and felt a tingle of delight as I warped to my prize. I beamed. "Alright! A new and improved Scorpio Staff!" I eagerly snatched it and shuffled back to where I came from.

Thankfully, a jump pad appeared and I was able to bounce back to where Arlon was waiting for me. I asked, "Did you locate Pink Hewdraw?"

Arlon pursed his lips. "No. Let's get to it now!"

I sprinted across the pavement (only me, because Arlon could just fly. Lucky duck) and got onto a ramp where a hoard of keron descended onto me. I unleashed a manly scream and made a run for it. Overhead I heard Arlon blast them to bits.

Hades reveled in my scare. "That's the champion who's to take me down and save pretty little Phosphora? All I have to do is throw a pile of frogs on him and I win."

I grit my teeth. "Not true! You just caught me by surprise! That's all."

Hades made an unconvinced sound as I fled past minos and sinistew right into a large plaza. Pink Hewdraw slithered closer. "I knew I had to set my trap up soon when I heard you holler like a poor schoolgirl."

I defended myself. "It was nowhere near a schoolgirl's voice! I am much more masculine!" An electric gate appeared around the plaza. "And I was too busy refuting you to realize you were springing the trap."

Hades jabbed, "You didn't refute it. The fact remains that you have a girl scream no matter how many times you debate it."

Arlon zipped over the gate (lucky duck) and landed next to me. "Why, aren't you a prettier sight than your brother."

Pink Hewdraw curled. "Nice try, but I'm not as vain as my purple brother!"

Arlon frowned. "Oh goodness. He even knows which one we defeated! He is good!"

Pink Hewdraw rolled his eyes. "Talk is cheap! Come at me!"

I gladly obeyed and started shooting like a maniac, with Arlon doing his blast-y thing. Pink Hewdraw lunged at me, and I had just enough time to dodge.

Hades remarked, "I'm impressed that Pit hasn't been finished once on this whole quest."

Lady Viridi smirked. "Oh, you know, he's a lot stronger than he used to be."

I kept up my strategy until the monster wailed in pain. "To think I was bested by you . . . again . . . the only thing that comes to mind is . . ." He dissolved before he could finish.

My stomach knotted from what was about to happen. I'd be fighting to the death against one of my friends.


	27. Feeling Blue

**Chapter 27**

I refused to move until Lady Viridi called out, "Hello? Hello? Earth to Pit!"

I shook myself out of my paralysis. "Yeah, I'm still here. I just really don't want to hurt my friend."

Hades mocked, "Who doesn't love a good ol' bloodbath between friends? It'll be fun watching you squeeze the life out of Blue Hewdraw!"

I shuddered. "This is even worse than being trapped in Hades' stomach!"

I trudged throughout the rest of the dungeon, slowly and halfheartedly demolished all the enemies in our way until I stood before the gate that would lead to Blue Hewdraw. I took a deep breath and went in. "Hey Blue Hewdraw. It's good to see you."

Blue Hewdraw moved back a little. "Polite today, are we?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I don't want to fight you. We're pals. You said how proud you were of me. I can't-I can't just kill you!"

Blue Hewdraw sprayed me with water. "Look Pit, we're members of eternally warring armies. We have to fight."

Hades interjected, "Indeed!"

I swatted the air around me as if it were the cruel god's head. "Knock it off! Blue Hewdraw, you have potential for good. You don't have to be Hades' slave."

Lady Viridi interjected, "Uh . . . actually, yeah, he does. As a monster, he has to serve the Underworld Army. It would take a lot to get him out of service."

I brightened. "A lot? So it's possible!"

Arlon jumped in, "Pit, Phosphora is being held captive by Hades. She is being tortured as we speak. We must continue as quickly as possible."

Blue Hewdraw nodded. "Okay kid, we gotta do this. Do it for Phosphora."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tearfully raised my bow. "For you, Phosphora."

The battle commenced. I pelted him with arrows while Arlon hurled energy blasts at him. Blue Hewdraw fired a laser at us.

_Lady Palutena, please ease my guilt. And somehow find a way to save Blue Hewdraw from forced servitude. There has to be a way to save everyone. _

I realized that the most merciful thing was to make it was quick as I could, so I amped up the amount of arrows I shot per attack, while Arlon followed suit and put out more energy. Blue Hewdraw saw it coming and dished out his ultra-powerful purple laser.

All of a sudden, everything became dark. I inhaled and aimed a single arrow right for his heart. As I let the arrow fly, I murmured, "I'm sorry Blue Hewdraw." As it pierced its mark, light returned and I dropped to my knees at the sight of my wounded friend.

Blue Hewdraw gave me another hug thing again. "Good job Pit! You did it! You only have to fight Twinbellows and Thanatos now before the Underworld is yours. You did the right thing to save Phosphora. I am so proud of you."

Tears leaked out of my eyes. "I don't want it to be this way."

Blue Hewdraw consoled, "We'll see each other again. Hades will revive me at some point, I'm sure." With that, he evaporated into the sky.

I started sobbing uncontrollably, wailing at how cruel fate could be. I ascended to the heavens as Lady Viridi extracted me from battle. "I'm really sorry it came to that, Pit. On the bright side, that's the most emotional battle you'll have to go through."

I could barely breathe in between sobs, let alone reply. I heard footsteps hurrying over urgently, and then felt a pair of arms wrap around me. "This must have so hard for you, Pit."

_Lady Palutena._

I let myself cry until Blade interrupted, "Why weren't you this upset when Phosphora was taken?"

I stood, anger filling my chest. "Because I was ENRAGED, not sad! And we will get her back! It's not like we can save Blue Hewdraw! To even imply that I don't care about my girlfriend being kidnapped . . ."

Blade shrugged. "Just asking. No need to get so defensive."

Cragalanche blundered over, looking at me with huge eyes, an action which I took to mean support. "Thanks, buddy. You always know what to say-er, what not to say."


	28. A Rough Start

**Chapter 28**

After I cried myself to sleep, I woke up to the delicious scent of pancakes. I ambled into the kitchen where Lady Palutena was preparing breakfast. She flashed me a big grin. "Morning, Pit! It's an easy day today. Twinbellows. He's guarding Thanatos' lair."

I rubbed my red eyes. "Good."

Arlon clapped my back. "It's nice to see you up and ready to take on the day."

I scarfed down my meal and paid little attention except for the mission at hand. I leapt into Skyworld with Arlon floating above me. Miks swarmed around us, but I had no trouble destroying them with my Phosphora Bow.

It was then that I heard the distinct sound of munching. I glanced up to see the form of Hades snacking on popcorn. "Is this battle for our lives entertainment for you?"

Hades licked his lips. "Yes. Yes it is. It's a movie date."

Lady Palutena quipped, "Yes, I'm very sure your mirror is very excited to accompany you."

Hades laughed. "My mirror is busy today. I have a more beautiful date with me today."

To my complete horror, I saw Phosphora chained to the chair next to him. Anger filled my body. "I AM SO GOING TO PUMMEL YOU AND STEAL YOUR DOOMSDAY TUXEDO!"

Lady Viridi rushed out of her study. "Phosphora! Are you okay?!"

Lady Palutena criticized, "Really? She's been kidnapped, trapped, tortured and currently with the most irritating being of all time."

Phosphora admitted, "The worst torture was Thanatos hitting on me."

I assured, "Don't worry, I'm going to save you!"

Hades responded, "You're going to die."

_That's what you think! _

I shot a gaggle of shelbos, focusing my anger on completing the task. I almost manly screamed again when a FLYING EGGPLANT WIZARD started attacking.

Lady Palutena commented, "Been working hard, huh, Hades?"

He sarcastically clasped his hands. "Thank you. It's so good to finally be appreciated!"

I corrected, "We don't appreciate you." I dodged the cursed eggplants the monster tossed at me but had the sudden need to use the bathroom. Arlon blasted it to bits while a swarm of cellular handoras moved in onto the scene.

After we crushed them, reapettes hovered around us. I used my bow to eliminate them while Lady Palutena announced, "We're almost there! Prepare for land battle!"

I floated down onto a beach. "Ooh, I've never been here before! Is there an ice cream stand nearby?"

Hades slurped on a soda. "Actually, yes! Go down two blocks to the left and take a right."

I made a mental note to check it out with Phosphora after we got out of this mess. Bumbledrops popped out of thin air. I fired at them while green arrows appeared. Lady Palutena smiled. "I already mapped out the route you're going to take."

Hades devoured more popcorn. "Maybe you should rub your nerdiness on Viridi. Then she wouldn't be stuck at the university trying to outdo Pyrrhon."

"DID SOMEBODY SAY 'PYRRHON'?!"

The irritating sun god himself joined the conversation. I questioned, "Phosphora, how do you survive being around that guy all day?"

Phosphora said, "I just tune him out. He never says anything important, anyway."

Hades laughed. "She's got you there, Pyrrie!"

_First Thannypoo, now Pyrrie? What is up with all these weird nicknames?_

Guttlers started circling around me. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stay away! Get back! I have a weapon!"

Lady Palutena shook her head. "You're a tiny angel; they're huge monsters. They're going to hunt you like prey whether you're armed or not." Arlon hammered them with his powers while I grumbled and helped him.

We made it to the next room where boogities launched missiles on sight. I asked, "Is there a restroom nearby? I really have to go!"

Hades joked, "I bet you feel more reassured about your knight in shining armor, Phosphora."

I snarled, "I beat you fair and square in a battle to save the world! I deserve more credit!"

Hades quipped, "Yes. I have no idea how a small angel with a bladder the size of a walnut defeated me."

Phosphora defended me, "He's a better fighter than you."

Lady Palutena interjected, "There's a bathroom next to the hot spring in this dungeon."

That was enough to motivate me to speed through. I zoomed through the corridors, ignoring all the enemies until I reached the hot spring. Sure enough, there was a restroom next to it. I went did my business and as I washed my hands, a giant shildeen went to the sink next to mine.

I rushed out and soaked in the hot spring next to Arlon. "How far are we?"

"About a quarter in."

_Still . . . so . . . far. _


	29. Zero to Hero

**Chapter 29**

I complained mercilessly until we approached Twinbellows' lair. Lady Viridi snapped, "Finally! I couldn't take all of Pit's moaning! It was so distracting! How am I supposed to study with all this racket?"

I grumbled, "We really don't have it in the budget for some noise-cancelling headphones?"

Phosphora calculated, "I think we have about three hundred drachmas we found during spring cleaning."

Lady Viridi paused. "Oh yeah. I'll go get some now. Tootles!"

Feeling uncomfortable in the awkward silence, I begged, "Can I fight to the death now? Please?!"

Lady Palutena clapped. "You've got this!"

Hades stuck out his tongue. "EW! I've had enough of all this cheer and love! It's time for sadness and despair!"

I ignored him and entered the arena where Twinbellows awaited. He snarled in greeting, and charged at the door just as Arlon entered and rammed him to death. Hades laughed. "It looks like you'll be stuck here for a while until Rosebud comes back from the store!"

I wagged my finger. "Nuh uh uh. I'm still in this!" I shot multiple arrows at the beast until it charged again. I leapt out of the way just in time and meleed his back. It thrust itself out of the archway and galloped at me. I rolled under his legs and made a deliberative shot at his exposed stomach.

Once I got back up, my hands fell to my knees and my breath came out in rapid gasps. I fumbled for a better grip on my bow and kept on the onslaught. Phosphora's jaw dropped. "He's gotten a lot better at fighting! _Really_ good!"

I ran my hand through my hair. "Thank you very much."

Hades made a disgusted noise. "Was I not clear about the lovey-dovey stuff?! No! No more! I'm going to vomit and it will be on your shoes!"

I rolled my eyes and kept fighting until Twinbellows finally cried out a final roar and disintegrated. I fanned myself with my hand. "Phew! That was intense! Milkshake break?"

Lady Palutena agreed, "Milkshake break!"

I was warped back to Skyworld. Lady Palutena embraced me. "You were spectacular! Tomorrow we're going to get the key to the Underworld from Thanatos."

I nodded. "Then it's time to invade the Underworld and save Phosphora."

Blade popped in. "Hey Palutena, the Reset Bombs took out a legion of Underworld troops."

I high-fived him. "Great work!"

Blade raised an eyebrow. "Wait, where's Arlon?"

I cleared my throat. "He's . . . waiting for Lady Viridi to come back and revive him."

Blade facepalmed. "Don't tell me he was finished."

I meandered into the kitchen and blended my milkshake. "Fine. I won't tell you that he was finished." I slurped on my drinkable delight, and swayed contently back and forth while the chocolate danced in my mouth.

A good handful of minutes later, Lady Viridi came back. "Pit? You're here already? It usually takes you longer than that to complete missions."

Lady Palutena beamed. "Isn't it great? He's improving dramatically!"

Blade interrupted, "Arlon was eliminated and needs to be brought back to life."

Lady Viridi sighed. "Poor Arlon. Alright. I'll be back. If I fail my test, it'll be your fault!"

She stormed off while Cragalanche thundered in and sat next to me. I thumped him on the back. "Hey there, old sport!"

Lady Palutena giggled. "Are you quoting _The Great Gatsby_, Pit?"

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. "Yeah. Of course. Gatsbys are great."

Lady Palutena put her hands on her hips. "You weren't, were you?"

I cringed. "No. I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME!"

Hades appeared out of nowhere. "I was lured here by the smell of tears. What is it? What's going on?"

Lady Viridi and Arlon rejoined us. Arlon commented, "The evil master of the Underworld wants to try to save his dignity after facing the reality that his troops thus far have been brutally defeated at every turn?"

I pointed my pinky finger at the god of death (and now kidnapping?) himself. "Ooh! You just got smacked with fancy words!"

Hades jabbed, "Fancy for a lemur. Honestly, your brain is so small."

I had a comeback to that one all rearing to go. "It's better than having a small heart! Even if it is cute."

Cragalanche gave me a blank stare and then I realized that I just insulted myself.


	30. Archenemies

**Chapter 30**

The next morning I woke up with a sense of dread. Which made sense, considering I was fighting for my imprisoned girlfriend and the fate of humanity, but there was something else I couldn't quite place. It followed me throughout my morning routine, until Lady Palutena brightened when she saw me. "Morning, Pit! It's time to crush Thanatos!"

_There it is._

While I had an unusual attachment to Blue Hewdraw, I had an unusual dislike for Thanatos. I couldn't figure out why, but the guy just got on my last nerve every time I bumped into him.

Lady Viridi adjusted the flower crown in her hair. "To sweeten the deal, I'll let you have some of my bean dip when you're done today. Just this once, so don't get used to it."

I pumped my fist in the air. "I get to beat Thanatos and get bean dip!"

With an extra pep in my wings, I soared out with Arlon to the Seafloor Palace. Hades was reclining in a loveseat. "Ooh, access to the Underworld is on the line today! I hoped you slept well, Pitty, because this'll be a day to remember when Thannypoo disintegrates your bones!"

Lady Viridi approved, "Disintegration is environmentally friendly!"

I criticized, "That is not the point!"

A Fort Oink materialized and started barfing out shemums. The shemums frantically flapped their tiny wings to float over to me, where I knocked mercilessly them back down to Earth. Then gyrazers popped out and started beaming lasers at us. Arlon pelted them with his own energy blasts, and soon enough they joined the deceased shemums. Syrens shrieked as they flew near me and tried to scratch my eyes out. Thankfully, Lady Palutena moved me out of harm's way in the nick of time.

I shot one down while Arlon took care of the rest. We descended down until I could see the beach. I licked my lips. "I really want an ice cream."

Hades scowled. "I really want you to be quiet."

A gaggle of collins surrounded us. Like with all the enemies before, I aimed and fired at them all. Arlon assisted me, and they were all pulverized soon enough. Lady Palutena called, "Lord Poseidon! Lord Poseidon!"

The sea god appeared. "Yes? I suppose you want me to part the sea for you?"

I addressed, "That'd be so helpful! Thanks!"

With a dramatic flourish, the waters moved to the left or right, creating a clear path for me. I ran a hand through my hair. "Fancy!"

Arlon and I zipped through the waves past an aggressive brawny claws. The brawny claws flew back towards us. I fired at it with my Phosphora Bow until it burst into flames. A trailtail materialized and growled at us.

Arlon zapped it with his energy bolts.

Lord Poseidon droned, "Here's the city I sunk a millennia ago. Those humans thought it would be okay to desecrate their temple to me!"

Hades cheered, "That's a god card!"

Lady Palutena facepalmed. "That doesn't sound like a very effective method to dealing with problems with mortals."

Lord Poseidon shrugged. "Oh well. At least I'm not Hades, wiping out humans left and right."

"HELLLLOOOOO! How's my favorite angel doing today?!"

_Thanatos. _

I decided to not respond. "We're getting close to the Seafloor Palace, aren't we?"

Hades rolled his eyes. "What gave it away?"

Thanatos called, "I'm waiting for an answer!"

I snarled, "I'm fabulous, thanks!"

Hades observed, "That sounded hostile. What happened, Pitty Pat? You're not turning into a gloom Blade, are you? That'd be a shame. To think-to crush the happiness in a teeny tiny angel! What a privilege!"

A flying suit of skuttler rammed into my side. I screamed (but it was manly). Arlon grabbed it by the throat and throttled it. I shot it in the back until it died. A wave of paramushes descended down.

We eliminated them all, only for a bunch of mega mussels to start firing at us. I dodged a bunch of coral (which were apparently animals) while sending arrows into the mega mussels.

I soared up through the waters, and the Seafloor Palace came into view. Thanatos gushed, "Goodie! You came! Now I can finally play!"

I announced, "Prepare to pay for your role in Phosphora's suffering!"

A tortolunk spun towards me. I ducked and watch it speed into the distance. Thanatos roared, "Do you know how many times she rejected me? _I _suffered!"

As I landed into the palace, I scarfed down a watermelon.

Thanatos said, "Where are you? What are you doing?"

I protectively held the watermelon in my arms like a newborn human. "None of your business!"

Hades chuckled. "Chomping on a snack?"

Thanatos asked, "Do you always think of food?"

_I did not come here for my lifestyle choices to be mocked._


	31. Last Call

**Chapter 31**

I adjusted my laurel while Thanatos's voice rang out, "YOOHOO! Can you hear me?"

Lady Palutena faked a grin. "No, sorry! Try getting better service in here!"

Thanatos objected, "You're lying!"

Arlon observed, "I thought that was fairly obvious. Are you alright? Did you suffer a concussion on your travels?"

I started the trek through the Seafloor Palace, while an erinus, an igniot, and a crawler spawned. I started shooting while Thanatos chanted, "Ooh goody! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Hades lamented, "I really need to get better goons."

Arlon circled over them while I continued my action-hero routine. Thanatos commented, "What do you mean, Lord Hades? I'm not good enough for you?"

Hades assured, "I was just joking, Thannypoo. No one could replace you."

I was slightly impressed. "You managed to rhyme with potty language!"

Lady Palutena scolded, "Pit!"

I sheepishly smiled. "You're right, not appropriate."

As the monster dissipated, we hurried into the next room, a long corridor. A vakloom appeared. I avoided it when a sudden flash activated it. There was only one time that happened before. "Pyrrhon?"

The uber-annoying sun god popped up. "Yup! I so enjoy watching you suffer!"

I mocked Pyrrhon while waddling like a duck the way humans did to each other. Lady Palutena asked, "Are you imitating SpongeBob?"

I scowled. "Who is that?"

Arlon supplied, "A popular cartoon character created by the mortals."

I hid under the vakloom's legs while its laser cut through the air before slipping back out and taking it out. A flurry of gyrazers arrived and began _their _laser attacks. I reflected their attacks back at them until they all exploded.

A random room was stashed right near the entrance of the next room. I examined the contents. "Yay! A Zodiac Chamber!" I jumped into the portal and shimmied over to the chest. A more advanced pair of Gemini Orbitars awaited me. I hungrily snatched them and went back to Arlon.

I began huffing when we got to the next floor. "Wasn't there a trap door around here somewhere?" Right at that moment the ground beneath me gave way and I tumbled down onto the floor below.

Hades cheered, "Found it! Good thing Phosphora's not here to witness your epic blunder!"

I taunted, "Oh yeah? You're an epic blunder!"

Arlon and I kept speeding through the palace fending ourselves from frozums, splins, and minoses and the occasional merenguy. I requested, "Is there any snacks available? I could go for a mean pudding cup right about now."

Lady Palutena lifted up her pointer finger. "I have something even better! Go in the next room and find my special treat!"

I squealed, "You don't have to tell me twice!" I bounded inside where a giant, beautiful, gorgeous hot spring sparkled. I cannonballed in and started erratically swimming in glee.

Hades remarked, "Is he drowning? Because I'm not rescuing him."

Arlon took a dip as well. "Mistress Palutena, how far do we have left until we encounter Thanatos?"

Thanatos, acting like he was being talked to, answered, "Meh. Almost there. Somewhat."

That was not encouraging. I whined, "I'm bored! I want more action!"

Pyrrhon replied, "AHAHAHAHA! I'll give you more action! For, you know, your shooting thing."

The walls burst open to reveal a small moving platform against a bunch of obstacles above a bottomless pit. I hopped on it while Arlon flew effortlessly to the elevator. I ducked and contorted in various painful positions. On a very challenging obstacle I had to dash up a flight of stairs to avoid being knocked into the abyss, but I was too late and missed the platform.

I panicked. "Aah! I'm stuck!"

Arlon swooped over. "Not on my watch! I will not let your final resting place by Davy Jones' locker!"

_I can't die, remember? _

Lady Palutena telepathically communicated, _"Oh, he remembers. Arlon's just not announcing it to the ENEMY about our little SECRET." _

I felt my face redden as Arlon wrapped an arm around me and flew me over to the end of the obstacles. We scooted into the elevator. The ride was abominably long. I started swaying my hips back and forth to pass the time. After we went up a floor I noticed Hades holding up a video camera. "Are you recording me?!"

Hades nodded. "Of course! That was too funny not to record forever! This is going to go in the break room in the Underworld tomorrow."

As we finally reached our destination, the last round of enemies engaged us in battle. A fire wyrm danced around while petribombers chucked explosives at our faces. I sprinted away from the petribombers and put all my energy on the fire wyrm. Arlon defeated the petribombers and started hitting the fire wyrm with me.

After a bit, the next wave came: three zurrets, five gloomerangs, and a very active leox. I meleed a zurret while Arlon dueled with the gloomerangs. I jumped on the leox's back and drove it into the wall. While it was stunned, I meleed it until it died.

With that, the door to Thanatos opened. I stepped inside, facing my archrival face-to-face. Thanatos waved. "Hello! It's so nice to see you again!"

I did not return the greeting. "You hurt Phosphora! You're going to pay for your crimes! In the names of Lady Palutena, goddess of light and Lady Viridi, goddess of nature, I will smite you!" I raised my fist in the air to make the point more dramatic. I hastily added, "Oh, and I dedicate this performance to Phosphora."

Lady Palutena whispered, "Nice save."

Thanatos turned into a bowling pin and started shooting out bowling balls at me. I deflected the balls back at him and knocked him into the air. When he landed, he transformed into a tree. I wasn't sure what to make of that. "How are trees supposed to scare me?" I slowly approached it, and then it reached out and engulfed me.

I screamed until Thanatos finally spit me back out. I landed with a start. I got back up and wiped his spit off of me. Hades clapped. "Bravo! Bravo!"

I notched some arrows and made sure they pierced Thanatos' bark. After a few rounds of dodging the carnivorous plant, he changed back to himself and summoned purple puffs shaped like skulls out in my direction. I waited until the last moment and leapt out of the way.

Arlon said, "I'm beginning to feel like I'm the one left out. Tsk, tsk, Thanatos. For someone who feels social rejection frequently, I thought at least you would show some sensitivity and invite me to join your joust!"

I gestured for him to help. "You were always welcome to take part in the action, Arlon. It's not fun to be the only one working, you know."

Arlon readjusted his spectacles and turned off the lights. Pyrrhon yawned. "We've seen that move already!" Flames licked the darkness and soon light was restored. Thanatos kept up with the weird puff thingamajigs, and I kept getting out of the way.

Eventually he got bored of the cat and mouse bit and transformed into a bat. "Kyeh! Kyeh!"

I corrected, "That's not what a bat sounds like! And we had this conversation before!"

He turned into one big bat and started chasing me around. Every so often I'd fire behind my shoulder at him until he gave up and turned into a giant diamond.

Lady Palutena gasped. "Oh my word! He's a parallelogram! He's using math to beat you, Pit!"

I had no idea what a "parallelogram" was. "Is that a telegram? Telegraph? What? Never mind!" Arlon sprang around tossing energy balls at the god of death while I kept shooting. At last, he went up in a purple smoke, leaving only a key in his wake.

I triumphantly held it up. "Time for the invasion . . . of the Underworld!"


	32. Infilitration

**Chapter 32**

I was preparing for the long day ahead in my glorious hot spring when Blade walked in our room. "Ready to infiltrate the Underworld?"

I nodded. "Time for the rescue mission!"

Blade stretched. "Good luck. Don't screw this up; Phosphora's life depends on this."

I dismissed, "It's going to be fine! I'm going to rescue my girlfriend and a giant celebration with cake will be in order!"

After a rigorous inner pep talk, I went into the kitchen where Lady Viridi made a huge breakfast: toast shimmering with butter, scrambled eggs, sausage, and fancy cheese. She handed me a giant helping of each. "You need all the energy for this one."

I fulfilled my duty by eating everything on my plate. Lady Palutena eyed the scene when she woke up. "Trying to give Pit an energy boost?" She hugged me. "You can do this, Pit. I'll be guiding you to Phosphora. Just save her and come back with her."

I smiled weakly. "Right. Arlon'll be there too, right?"

Lady Viridi pointed toward the door. "He's actually waiting for you. By the way, Cragalanche made a victory poster when you return."

I strode over to Arlon (who was wearing a backpack for some reason) with my heart beating out of my chest. "It's time."

Arlon shook my hand. "Don't be anxious, Young Master Pit. We have everything under control."

I jumped into the air, letting Lady Palutena guide my path. Hades grinned. "Morning, do-gooders! Today is the action day, right? When Pitty Pat saves lovely little Phosphora?"

I cried, "You bet! Your reign of terror ends here!"

Hades twirled a lock of hair around his finger as a terrifying orne crept towards me. "Fascinating. Truly fascinating, considering the fact that you forgot the Great Sacred Treasure."

I hovered over the orne until it was out of range. "He's right! What do we do?"

Lady Palutena chuckled. "Who said he was right?! The Great Sacred Treasure is in Arlon's backpack!"

Arlon droned, "I may not be as noticeable as Young Master Pit, but I am not one to be underestimated."

Hades leaned forward. "Intriguing! Now things are a bit more fun!"

A keron shot a projectile at me. I dodged it and began shooting arrows at it. Lady Viridi popped in. "Okay! I'm all ready to watch!"

Hades taunted, "Don't you have some studying to do?"

Lady Viridi shot back, "I actually finished all of my work for today since I knew it's butt-smashing day!"

A few boogities advanced on us. Arlon used his laser and cut them all down. I suddenly hurtled down a cliff. Lady Palutena warned, "Be careful! Here's the ravine with shootflies!"

A cloud of dust swirled near my nose. I instantly launched into a sneezing fit, irritating the shootflies. They charged at me and practically knocked me over. Hades laughed. "Consider it a more subtle version of a Pandora's Box."

I snapped, "You're a more subtle version of a Pandora's Box!"

Inky blackness surrounded us. More ornes started circling around the entrance to the Underworld. I dodged them and used Thanatos' key to access Hades' lair. Lady Viridi advised, "You're on their turf now! It's only going to get harder!"

I weaved through the Underworld forces, blasting as many enemies I could. Arlon joined in, shattering every creature that came within reach of his awesome shield thing. We kept our efforts up until the dreaded Underworld Gatekeeper flew up. I gulped. "Yikes! This guy was even harder to kill than Medusa!"

Hades remarked, "I'm telling her you said that."

Its guns started firing all around. One left a burn mark on my thigh. I started meleeing it while Arlon reflected its bolts back at it. We continued our strategy until at last it fell.

Pride surged in my chest as I soared into the castle.

I snacked on an apple while Pyrrhon maniacally laughed. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! You're right where we want you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Arlon asked, "Are you ready to continue, Young Master Pit?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes."

We arrived at the main hall with another hot spring. No one had to tell me twice. I dipped in and noticed three statues, just like when I had to fight Medusa.

Instead of Twinbellows, Pandora, and Hewdraw, they were of Medusa, Pandora in her human form, and the Great Reaper.

I headed in the Medusa door, not sure what would happen next.


	33. Medusa

**Chapter 33**

I slung on the Great Sacred Treasures as an inflamed tempura wizard immediately turned Arlon into a delicious fried shrimp. I blocked him while the tempura threw a tantrum to get to him. I meleed it until it died, and Arlon transformed back to normal. He bowed. "Thank you, Young Master Pit. I shudder to think what would have happened to me if you had not given me a timely rescue."

I waved it off and entered the next room, which had a really pretty glowing golden and red floor. I marveled at the design and almost fell into the pit below. A festive merenguy started getting into a groove. I slashed it and chucked into the cliff.

We kept going until a bunch of octos and a suit of skuttler ambushed us. Arlon blasted through the octos while I rushed to the back of the suit of skuttler and meleed its weak spot. After the first wave was dealt with, a slackjaw and mega mussels materialized. I called out, "Arlon! Take out the mega mussels! I'll handle the slackjaw!"

Pyrrhon laughed (again). "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seeing Pit trying to be a leader is so funny! A teeny tiny angel commanding a whole army! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I dodged the energy beam from the slackjaw and started firing at it. Hades remarked, "You're right Pyrrhon. I still don't understand how Pit beat us. Look at him, he's so small. How could he defeat gods?"

Arlon finished up with the mega mussels and joined me with the attack on the slackjaw. I lunged for a back shield, but it disappeared right when it was in reach. I whined, "What? Come on!"

Hades giggled. "It feels good to torment my enemies!" After the slackjaw finally died, we sprinted into the next room.

Lady Palutena encouraged, "You're almost at Medusa!"

I focused on getting to the door, blocking out everything else. I was faintly aware of shootflies aiming at me and a zurret jumping out of its box. When their blows hit me, I kept going and ran straight through the door, where a very large Medusa was waiting for me.

She ran a hand through her snakes. "My, my. So the Underworld Gatekeeper was harder to defeat than me? Is that how you talk about someone who fought Hades and saved your life?"

I reddened. "I . . . I don't have an answer to that so let's just get this over with!"

Hades slowly clapped. "Bravo, bravo. Action line of the year. I'm going to have to start quoting you."

Medusa shot beams out of her eyes. I ran out of the way and shot a volley of arrows from the chest cannon.

Hades interrupted, "Wait, didn't I destroy the Great Sacred Treasures? Why is it repaired? When you went to old Dyntos, you asked for a bigger force field, not to save the treasure."

Lady Viridi replied, "We made an appointment without telling anyone. So YOU wouldn't put your big nose into it! Can you mind your own business for once?!"

Medusa shifted her attention to Arlon, who kept floating out of her attacks' way. I meleed her feet, and she tripped and fell onto the floor. I meleed her entire body until she got back up. She nearly stepped on me with her huge feet, but I managed to get out of the way and retaliate by shooting an energy beam into her knee.

Arlon turned off the lights. I continued my strategy of meleeing, and eventually she fell again and I was able to hit her head. Medusa started screaming. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!"

Pyrrhon snapped his fingers, and the light went back on. "Let me throw you a bone, Medusa. As it states in the Pyrrhon Creed, Rule 1,489: Treat allies well."

I mumbled, "I'm starting to like Thanatos more than Pyrrhon."

Medusa tried to squash me with her feet, and Arlon used the opportunity to launch a powerful ray in her face. I quickly meleed her ankles, and soon enough she collapsed again. I delivered the final blows and was transported back to the beginning of the dungeon, with the Medusa statue crumpled.

I sank into the huge hot spring. "This is the life."

Arlon landed next to me and took off his shoes. "Which chamber shall we go in next, Young Master Pit?"

I thought about that. "The Great Reaper."

After a nice soak, we charged past the Great Reaper statue into the next portion of the castle, ready to tackle anything.


	34. The Great Reaper (Again)

**Chapter 34**

We slid inside, and the darkness dragged down my mood a little. I kept walking. "Would it kill you to get some candles?"

Pyrrhon stated, "Pyrrhon is all the light the Underworld needs!"

Lady Viridi snorted. "That's a very dim light."

I maneuvered around a reaper and jumped on a jump pad onto the platform above. Arlon simply flew above the reapers to the exit. I patiently waited until the coast was clear, and hopped down from my perch and made a run for it to Arlon.

We got into the next room, where an ungoddessly orne lurked around. I squealed, "Arlon, can you carry me over it? There is no way in Lady Palutena's name or Lady Viridi's name that I am getting remotely close to that thing!"

Arlon sighed. "Very well." He hoisted me up and we zoomed over it. Hades shouted, "No fair! I wanted to hear Pitty Pat cry! I'll have to punish you with an ambush."

A nest of handoras jumped from the ceiling. A few landed in my hair. I leapt off Arlon and flailed to the ground, where the handoras thankfully slipped out of my poor hair. I started using the laser blast and eliminating them in mass numbers.

Splins started emerging, and Arlon fought them. I was still annihilating the handoras when Hades leaned forward. "You know, it's peculiar that Pit hasn't been finished yet. What's your secret?"

I ignored him and kept battling. Lady Viridi snapped, "Secrets are called secrets for a reason! Stop trying to butt in! Your butt is not welcome here!"

I wiped sweat off my brow and took a breather. "Whew! I already need another rest."

Pyrrhon said, "Too bad! Wave three!"

Clubberskulls appeared. I sighed. I cut the chains off one, and it went ballistic. I narrowly avoided getting smashed to bits by its spin attack. I shot it with arrows from afar while Arlon kept throwing energy beams at it. We kept it up until it died and freed the next one.

After the ambush stopped, we headed into a long hallway full of belunkas. I knew that the enemies it barfed out would keep spawning, so I concentrated my attacks of the belunkas while Arlon took care of the other monsters.

I panted. "Can you toss me some snacks, please?"

A juicy banana appeared at my feet. I gobbled it down. "Thanks Lady Palutena!"

Lady Viridi snapped, "How do you know it wasn't from me?!"

I paused. "Was it?"

Lady Viridi huffed, "No, but it ticks me off that you automatically think that I didn't!"

After we succeeded in destroying the third wave, we took a breather. I wiped sweat off my forehead. "This really is hard. How close are we to the Great Reaper?"

Lady Palutena cheerfully encouraged, "Actually, just ahead!"

I gulped down a Drink of the Gods and staggered inside. I lunged at the Great Reaper's feet while it roared and meleed them mercilessly. Arlon shot lasers at his head, waiting for the yellow light to beam out which meant to shoot there.

The yellow light soon glowed, and I ran up to the second story and started firing arrows at its head. Before long, it exploded and we were transported back to the entrance.

I soaked in the hot spring as a reward to myself, and Arlon joined me.

Hades criticized, "My, my. You're spending an awful amount of time relaxing while your girlfriend is in pain, Pitty Pat. Maybe you just don't care."

I shot back, "Maybe I'm just a little winded! Sheesh. So judgy."


	35. Pandora

**Chapter 35**

We trudged into Pandora's section of the dungeon. I tried to stay on the bright side. "At least we don't have to really fight her; it's just a look-a-like."

Pandora called out, "I wouldn't be too sure about that, worm!"

I groaned. "Ew."

Lady Viridi asked, "What's your beef with Pandora anyway?"

I admitted, "I don't even remember."

Pandora hissed, "Maybe it's because you treat me like I'm garbage!"

_You're an evil being and the goddess of calamity. You ARE garbage._

I pretended I didn't hear that and continued advancing through the rooms as a bunch of remoblam and remoblamlings approached. I took out the remoblams and dodged as the remoblamlings exploded. An erinus showed up afterward, and I meleed it until it burst.

I noticed a chest, and went over to collect some goodies. A pair of legs sprouted from underneath and made a move to catch me in a kicking flurry. I ran out of the way, but the mimicutie managed to catch me and gave me a fierce roundhouse kick to the face.

I collapsed on the floor. Hades guffawed. "That's what I call gumption! Yes, yes! Kill the angel! Make him suffer!"

Arlon came to my rescue and shot energy beams at it. I did my part by fleeing (in a totally heroic way). Once it was dead, I high-fived Arlon. "Nice work, partner! We're making great progress!"

After a while of fighting and avoiding big injuries, we reached a Drink of the Gods. I washed down its contents. "I think this means that Pandora is in the next room, right? Please, please, please, please, PLEASE let this mean that she's in the next room."

Lady Viridi rolled her eyes. "Then why don't you find out? Honestly, Pit."

Hades kicked his feet back. "I am so looking forward to this. Pretty Pandora, wipe the floor with him."

I criticized, "Hey, I didn't even step in the room yet!"

Lady Viridi yelled, "THEN GO IN!"

I protested, "Stop yelling at me! I'm only a little Pit."

I creaked the door open a smidge and firmly walked in. "Okay Pandora, it's time you met your fate for good! Seriously, how many times did Hades revive you during this crisis? Like five?"

The goddess of calamity flipped her hair over her shoulder. "It's not my fault the Lord of the Underworld has a soft spot for beautiful women."

I gagged. "Never say that again. I do NOT want to hear about Hades' love life!"

Pandora flung a few heart-shaped bombs in my direction. I dodged them, and Arlon chucked them back at her. Once they exploded in her face, I meleed her until she punched me in the face and kicked him a good distance.

Figuring that getting close was a bad idea, I fired a bunch of arrows at her. Arlon covered the room in darkness and struck her with his sword. I kept up the arrow attack. Hades snapped his fingers and the light came back on. "Gotta help out my old pal Pandora!"

Many treasure chests appeared out of thin air. I warned, "Get away from them! You'll get hurt if you get to close!"

We both carefully maneuvered around the chests and continued our attack. After what seemed like a lifetime, she finally collapsed. Arlon landed in front of me and held out his arm. "Stay back! This is a ruse."

Pandora vanished. Lady Viridi observed, "This time she didn't do a fake-out. For once."

Lady Palutena shrugged. "She must've felt that she was getting predictable."

Arlon and I were transported back to the entrance. I dipped my toes in the hot spring again. "This never gets old."

Lady Palutena gasped. I cried out, "AAH! What's wrong?!"

Lady Palutena composed herself. "Nothing-sorry. It's just that I didn't realize how quickly time flew. It's nighttime. I think you and Arlon have to camp out here and finish the journey tomorrow."

I crossed my arms. "Fine! But I am sleeping in the hot spring, and there's nothing you can do that will change my mind!"


	36. At Long Last

**Chapter 36**

After a nice relaxing rest (IN A HOT SPRING), I sprang up. "Alright! Time to save the day! Today we're gonna get Phosphora back! Hooray, hooray, hooray!"

Hades groaned. "Will you be singing that all day?"

I nodded. "You bet!"

Arlon smiled. "It is most rewarding to see your jubilance, Young Master Pit."

I grinned back. "Thanks! Whatever that means. It was a compliment, right?"

Lady Palutena translated, "Pit happy, Arlon happy."

I stretched and kept walking. "Last time I was here, there was a wave of monsters around here, wasn't there?"

Hades innocently commented, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lady Palutena affirmed, "Yes, there'll be a few waves of monsters before you get to the next room. Keep your guard up!"

I moaned as a group of igniots surrounded me. I meleed them before they could turn me into stone. A sinistew materialized. I snuck up behind it and meleed it until it died. I continued fighting off the onslaught until the door to the next room finally opened.

A few clubberskulls laid on the floor while a tempura wizard brandished its wand at me. I leapt out of the way of its spell, and heroically fell on my face. Arlon blasted the wizard to smithereens. I shot the clubberskulls from a distance, and the next room became available.

I rushed through a huge hallway and followed Lady Palutena's green arrows, ignoring and sprinting past all kinds of unfriendly monsters. Hades observed, "Skipping ahead to the good scene?"

I stopped for a short rest. "Whew. This is a lot of work."

Lady Viridi yelled, "Of course it is! You're saving the girl now! It's always the hardest one!"

Hades corrected, "The final boss is the hardest chapter. And I'm not being fought in this one, sorry to disappoint."

I stated, "You're not sorry."

Hades chuckled. "It's true. I'm never sorry."

I stood at the end of a huge platform that acted like a cliff. "Uh, how do I get to the other side?"

Lady Palutena reminded, "Remember this from last time? The small red lights are the edges of the path. Walk in between the two rows and you're on the invisible bridge."

Hades complained, "Why do you have to spoon-feed him the answers? I want a thrill in my life, and watching Pitty Pat make a fool of himself fulfills my deepest desire!"

I followed Lady Palutena's instructions until I made it safely on the other side. Lady Viridi praised, "Alright! You're halfway there!"

I pumped my fist in the air. "Phosphora's still here, right? Hades didn't move her while we were sleeping?"

Lady Viridi shook her head. "No. I sense her presence."

All of a sudden, I faceplanted onto the floor. I tried to figure out what attacked me from behind, but it was still pinning me down. I wrestled myself free to face . . . "Arlon?! What the heck?!"

Arlon dragged me back down. "Young Master Pit! Duck! A fire wyrm circling dangerously near you!" Sure enough, a fire wyrm indeed slithered very close to my head. I shot it from a safe distance while Arlon finished it off.

We continued into the next room where a long staircase led up to a Drink of the Gods. I hopped up the steps and drank. Arlon shook my hand. "Are you ready, Young Master Pit?"

I burst into the room, where Phosphora was unconscious and hovering limply in the air. As I moved toward her, a force shield blocked me from getting to her. I balled my fists. "What kind of trickery is this?!"

Someone snapped, and all of a sudden Pandora appeared. She cackled. "Did you really think it would be that easy? Your journey ends here!"

I glared at her while Arlon tossed energy beams at the stupid goddess of calamity. I meleed her while she threw more heart-shaped bombs at me. I maneuvered around them and shot her with my Phosphora Bow. Arlon kept up his energy beams, and we fought and fought until Pandora collapsed.

I rolled my eyes. "And she's going to say 'You got me' and then spring up and attack."

Pandora started coughing. "I don't think I can keep going."

Hades threatened, "You're going to keep it up until you die!"

Arlon used their bickering against them and finished her off.

The force shield disappeared. I was able to see Phosphora up close, covered in blood and dirt. I winced. She went through all of that torture for me. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and scooped her up in my arms.

Lady Palutena teleported us back home. Lady Viridi viewed Phosphora's unconscious form. "Hmm. She's more wounded than she appears. This isn't looking good. We're going to have to take drastic measures."


	37. Reunion

**Chapter 37**

My heart pounded in my chest. "What do you mean?"

Lady Viridi shook her head. "You did enough for today. We'll discuss it in the morning. We're going to have a small party to celebrate your return."

I poked at my noodles with my fork at dinner. Cragalanche sat next to me, boring through my soul with his eyes. I explained, "I'm not in the mood to eat."

Blade commented, "That's a first. Look, I know you're upset that Phosphora is really hurt, but I have a feeling you're going to have need all the strength you can get. If you can't eat for yourself, eat for her."

Lady Palutena nodded. "He's right, Pit. Please, eat some more. You're going to need all the energy you can for tomorrow's mission."

After a silent meal, we played Idol Toss until it was time for bed. I collapsed onto my pillow. "Blade, do you think it's going to be okay?"

He threw his pillow at me. "You griping isn't going to make things any better! But I know you're going to keep harassing me until I give in, so I'll just say it. Yeah, it will be, but only if you keep your head in the game. It's possible to save Phosphora, but only if you succeed tomorrow."

All night, I kept tossing and turning. It seemed like a few minutes before Lady Palutena gently shook me awake. "Morning, Pit! Today we're going to the Rewind Spring."

I rubbed my head. "Isn't that where Blade took me when I burned my wings up?"

She nodded. "Exactly! And there we can reverse all of the wounds Phosphora endured. Be very careful. Just dip her in. If she's in there for more than that, you might end up reverting her back to a baby."

_That would ruin our relationship._

I plopped down in my chair for breakfast. I wolfed down my eggs and sausage. "That was delicious. Can I have seconds?"

Lady Viridi observed, "Seems like you've got your appetite back."

Blade snickered. "Was their any doubt it would return?"

After I finished my delicious meal, Arlon and I took off. A bunch of zurees circled around us. I shot them while Arlon was on the lookout for any reinforcements. Once they were taken care of, vaklooms appeared. We ignored them and kept pressing forward until we got to a beautiful place with crystal blue buildings.

I frowned. "Does Hades know what's happening?"

The god of jerkiness himself responded, "Oh, I've been here the whole time; I just don't feel like bantering."

Lady Palutena observed, "That's unusual for you."

I unleashed a manly scream when a horde of ornes were getting closer. Hades guffawed. "My day just got ten times better."

I dodged them safely and a souflee skittered about. I notched an arrow in my bow and killed it. A gaggle of shulm floated near us. Arlon destroyed them all in impressive one-shots. A horrid noise emerged from behind me. "What is that?!"

Lady Viridi answered, "The Soul-Eating Monster! Be careful! Stuff comes out of the sacs!"

I started firing at the sacs. "Will that eat my soul?!"

Lady Palutena elaborated, "It eats the souls of the dead. Basically, souls of dead humans gathered here to get to their final resting place, but Hades refashions them into monsters!"

I gasped. "That is so wrong!"

With Arlon's help, we managed to defeat the creature and send it crashing down. Lady Palutena looked on the bright side. "Well, at least we managed to stop major casualties, so there's no glowing soul stream where surplus souls go!"

A pretty towering fountain appeared in the distance. I pointed at it. "That's the Rewind Spring?"

I glided over with Arlon. Lady Palutena clasped her hands together. "Lovely! I'll just place Phosphora next to you and you can dip her in." Phosphora appeared, and I gently placed her in the spring and picked her up out of it.

Her eyes slowly opened. "What?"

I hugged her. "THANKGOODNESSYOU'REHEREIMISSEDYOUSOMUCH!"

She wrenched herself free. "Pit?! Is that really you?!"

I hugged her again. "YES! I DID IT! I SAVED YOU!"

Arlon interjected, "I provided crucial assistance."

I felt guilty I forgot my partner. "Oh yeah! Arlon was super helpful!"

The water turned orange and started bubbling and churning. "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

I flinched. "Pyrrhon's evil laugh? Where is he?"

Phosphora drily replied, "I'm guessing the bubbly and churning water since water doesn't usually become orange."

The water rose and formed into a shape-Pyrrhon. He cackled, "Did you dumb little angel things even notice Pyrrhon was out of the picture after you defeated the Aurum?"

Lady Viridi said, "We all noticed; we just didn't care enough about you to ask."

Pyrrhon grinned. "It's time to destroy all of you once and for all!"

_That's going to be hard._

I crossed my arms. "Yeah, yeah. Let's get this over with."

Pyrrhon shot rays of fire at our faces. I ran out of the way while Phosphora and Arlon dodged in the air. Arlon through his own beams of energy at him. Phosphora called, "Pit! Lure him in the water! I can electrocute him and cause a lot more damage!"

That sounded like a good strategy. I started firing volleys of arrows at the sun god, hoping to drive him back into the spring. Arlon continued his attacks as well, and we kept up the onslaught until Pyrrhon skidded into the water. Electricity zapped through Phosphora's body, and she sent sparks flying right at Pyrrhon. He started twitching for a while before reverting back to himself.

Lady Palutena praised, "That was really powerful!"

Phosphora flipped her hair over her shoulder. "This is the ideal environment for me to really show off my skills for you!"

Pyrrhon growled, "I'm a boss now! It's going to take a lot more than that to conquer me!"

Lady Viridi quipped, "To really defeat you, we need to get a book. Then you really won't know what's going on."

Hades agreed, "You're not wrong, Rosebud. You're not wrong."

The battle waged on with the same tactics until Pyrrhon fell on one knee. "Pyrrhon thinks . . . Pyrrhon had enough." He melted into a puddle.

I hugged Phosphora. "It's over! Now we just have to face Hades!"

Hades stated, "Ah, good. It's finally time to snuff the hope out of you."

_Tomorrow you'll find out the truth: I am immortal just like you._


	38. The Beginning

**Chapter 38**

We were teleported back to the home base. Phosphora glanced around the place. "Hmm. It really came along, didn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah! It's so cool!"

Lady Viridi rushed out and wrapped Phosphora in a bear hug. "What would I do without you?! Don't ever do anything dangerous like that again! Especially not for Pit!"

I pretended like she didn't say that and joined the hug. "GROUP HUG!" No one moved forward, but everyone stared at me like I had three heads like Hewdraw. "What? We just saved Phosphora! We can finally be happy again!"

Blade stretched. "Yeah, it's not like the Lord of the Underworld is on the loose or anything."

Lady Palutena said, "Pit, the Great Sacred Treasure is fired up and ready to go. I want you to wear it when you fight Hades."

I frowned. "Last time, it broke."

Lady Viridi shook her head. "Don't think like that! Especially because Arlon, Blade, and Phosphora will be there to assist you."

I took Phosphora's hand. "Can we play Idol Toss until curfew? We need a game night!"

Arlon nodded. "I concur. I shall accompany you as well. It will be a good bonding exercise before our showdown."

Blade sighed. "Well, I can't be the only one not participating. Fine, I'm in, but I won't like it."

I tried to hide my disappointment. "I suppose we should get the game started."

Arlon seemed offended. "I was helping you by saving you from making a very unromantic first date! And that's how you repay me?"

I reddened. "Thanks for the back-up, Arlon."

After a riveting game (Arlon won), I hopped into bed, full of dreams about food and Phosphora.

In the morning, I skipped to the breakfast table where the goddesses were dining. "It's time to save the day! Hades is goin' down today!" I stacked waffles on my plate and buttered them.

I crammed as many in mouth as possible while Blade arrived. "That's attractive."

I chewed and swallowed my bite. "You're just jealous because I'm the one with a girlfriend!"

Blade shook his head slowly. "Don't make me do Hades' job and kill you for him."

I made a face at him. Arlon joined us. "Hello. How are you all faring this glorious morning?"

I waved and offered him a few waffles. "Fantastic! It's the day where Hades pays for attacking my girlfriend and killing innocent humans!"

Lady Palutena nodded. "We're going to have a grand celebration once you all come back!"

A few minutes later, Phosphora sauntered over, yawning. "Ugh, I really need to shower before we set off." She took a small amount of food, still clearly really groggy.

After everyone felt prepared, I equipped the Great Sacred Treasure and we set off, with Lady Palutena granting me the gift of flight and Lady Viridi granting it to Blade. Shulm approached us. Blade meleed them to bits. "I think I might need to take over command, Pit. Hand over your badge."

I refused, "As if! I'm saving my strength for Hades!"

Blade muttered, "Keep telling yourself that." Trailtails popped up. Phosphora closed her eyes and harnessed the electricity in the air and zapped them back to the Underworld. Ganewmedes inched toward us.

We ignored them and kept cruising further in. Lady Palutena announced, "We're going in the Underworld NOW!"

Inky blackness covered everything. I complained, "I can't see anything! Hades, I know that's you trying to mess me up!"

A few seconds of silence filled the atmosphere until Hades' face appeared millimeters from me. I screamed (a manly scream) from horror. "I think I need to go to the bathroom."

Hades laughed. "Welcome to my humble home, Pitty Pat! You too, useless sidekicks-"

Blade yelled, "Oh, I AM NOT A SIDEKICK!"

Phosphora arched her arms in a fighting position. "We're all heroes. And you're all villain. You are so going down for what you did to me!"

Hades started firing laser beams at us. "Less talking, more killing!"

Arlon aimed his own projectiles at Hades. "If doom is what you desire, I shall oblige!"

_I'll just pretend I know what that means._

I continued dodging while shooting off the lasers from the Great Sacred Treasures. Hades brandished a cape, and more lasers shot out. Phosphora clapped, and flashes of lightning exited her fingertips. The lightning zipped toward Hades. After he recovered the electrocution, everyone intensified the onslaught until Hades slipped.

I cheered, "We won!"

Hades got back up. "Not even close. But I think I'll jet off and feast on some souls and recover." He flew off toward the mortal world. Phosphora took off after him, and the Great Sacred Treasure entered Pursuit Mode.

_It's on._


	39. Round Two

**Chapter 39**

I caught up to my girlfriend (it was fun saying that) and the horrible god. Hades shot out lasers from his legs. I complained, "Is that all you do? Lasers? Nothing else?"

Phosphora and I dodged. I fired the Great Sacred Treasure's lasers at him, only to be stopped by his stupid force shields. Phosphora sighed. "I guess it's up to me to get rid of them! Hey Hades, it's time you learned something; I'm more than just a pretty face!" She flew to his force shields and applied some sort of magic pressure on them, and they cracked.

I took the opportunity to start my attack again. After many more of these cycles, I landed on Hades' back. I almost puked. "Ew! So many unnatural growths! They're hideous!"

Hades retorted, "The fact that my growths resemble my face makes them gorgeous."

Phosphora gagged. "Ugh! I think I'm going to sick!"

The faces started barfing up lasers. I got hit by one and tripped. I fell right on one of Hades' growths. Slime coated me. I grimaced. "Mayday! Mayday!"

Lady Palutena shouted, "Get the weak spot on his back!"

Phosphora took out some of the growths. I hammered away at the weak spot on his back. A powerful laser sent me sprawling back into the growths again. I squealed in horror.

Lady Viridi suggested, "You really need a bath after this."

I moaned, "Where are Blade and Arlon?"

Lady Palutena held her head in her hands. "They're still catching up."

I advanced back toward the weak spot on his back and hacked at it with the Great Sacred Treasure's laser attack. After a while of this routine, Hades yanked me into his hand. I cried, "Let me go!"

I bit his hand for good measure. He flung me away, and I smacked into Blade. Blade snapped, "Pit stain! Watch where you're going!"

I straightened myself. "Hey, Hades was the one tossing me around in the air! It's not my fault he's a maniac!"

Blade, Arlon, and I flew back to where Phosphora was fighting Hades. She zipped over to us. "I got all of his disgusting growths down, but the weak spot on his back still needs to be dealt with. And I did enough work this phase."

Blade volunteered, "I want the fiend's blood." He struck at Hades' vulnerable spot, and I assisted him with the Great Sacred Treasure's lasers.

Hades flipped over and winked. "COUNTERATTACK!" A barrage of lasers struck Blade and me down.

I winced from all the sore spots on my body. "What was that?"

Lady Viridi answered, "It looks like he hit you with the same amount of force you used against him."

_Yippee. _

Blade flew back up to where the others were. "Argh! Time for round three! And I won't lose to the likes of you!"


	40. Victory

**Chapter 40**

Hades shouted, "It's time to be rid of all of you!" He started powering up at a rapid pace.

Lady Palutena cried, "Get out of there, now!"

"TOO LATE!" Hades puffed out his chest, which burned bright blue as his strength seemed to triple. He hurled a ball of pure dark energy at us. I leapt in front of my friends (and girlfriend. I still liked saying that) just in time.

The dark ball hit me head-on, and the Great Sacred Treasure was ripped into pieces. My whole body was wracked with the most intense pain I've ever felt. My arms and legs started twitching. I started crashing down and fainted.

Despite my unconsciousness, I could hear everything around me. Hades laughed. "AHAHAHA! Looks like Pitty Pat couldn't take the heat! Just think about what I'll do to the rest of you!"

Someone rushed after me, and managed to pull me back up. Phosphora vowed, "I will avenge Pit! The growths on your back will look better than your face when I'm done with it!"

Hades snorted. "Ooh, I'm so scared! Lovely little Phosphora is angry! Good thing that you're so cute when you're angry!"

My fury at him flirting with my girlfriend allowed me to wake up. "Back off!"

Hades did a double take. "What?! How are you still alive?!"

I smirked. "Phosphora had two Flames of Immortality. You confiscated one. I got the other. I'll always stop you-forever."

Hades staggered back. "No, to be cursed with Pit yipping at my heels is more than I can conquer!"

Lady Viridi advised, "Now that he's distracted, all of you combine your attacks to create a super-strong attack! It should take him out for good. I hope. Since the Great Sacred Treasure is destroyed again, completely destroyed, we can't use the laser."

Arlon held out his hands, and his own dark energy ball formed. Phosphora shot out an electrifying orb at the dark ball and they merged together. I shot a laser into the giant orb, and Blade did the same.

Hades leapt forward to dispel the attack, but I volleyed it at him before he could strike. The ball slammed into him, and he fell to the floor. "Why? Why do I keep losing to a puny angel like you?"

He disintegrated into dust. Lady Palutena rubbed her chin, deep in thought. "Pit, I sense some sort of energy around. Let me fly you over to the source."

I flew over to the bottom of the Underworld until a glowing red rock appeared in my line of vision. I scooped it up. "Hey, this looks just like the Flame of Immortality!"

Lady Palutena warped me back to headquarters. "Yep! That's the Flame that was used to bring Hades to back to life. Since Hades is immortal, it still has power left in it. You can give it to someone and they'll gain immortality, too."

I blushed, knowing exactly who I would pick. I strolled to where Phosphora was standing. "Welcome to the team, Phosphora. Here's your present."

She smiled. "Thank you." Phosphora pressed the Flame against her heart, and was surrounded by an inferno. She levitated in the air as the fire burned inside her. After a while, she floated back down. "That's it?"

Lady Viridi clapped. "Yay! Congrats on being immortal! You get a free yogurt from the Immortals Club."

Arlon sighed happily. "Now we're all safe and sound at long last."

I smiled. "Yeah! Now Phosphora and I can go on our first date! Demeter's café, here we come! Oh shoot; I don't have a suit! What am I going to do?! AAH!"

Blade shook his head. "Always awkward, Pit. Always awkward."

Arlon snapped his fingers. "Well, Hades is no longer able to wear his Apocalypse Suit. You said you would take it from him upon his defeat. Go back and get it."

Lady Palutena offered, "I'll have the Centurions retrieve it. For now, let's throw a party! Hades and Pyrrhon are both defeated! We did it!"


	41. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

My heart was hammering in my chest. I sat across from my girlfriend (still my favorite word) at a table in Demeter's Café. I adjusted the sleeve of the Apocalypse Suit. "So, what looks good on the menu?"

Phosphora leaned back in her seat. "Hmm. The salad sounds nice. You?"

I tried not to stare at her pretty blue dress. "The spaghetti. It's my favorite. I'm so glad that we're both immortal. We can be together forever now."

Phosphora smiled. "If Hades ever regains a physical form, he'll always have to deal with us forever."

I sipped my water. "Yeah! The best warriors teamed up to fight evil! It's like a TV show or a comic book special!"

I grinned at her. "I'm sorry; I keep smiling like a goof. I'm just so happy that we saved you. The whole ordeal was terrible. I missed you so much. And now we're here on our first date. It's magical."

She laughed. "Aw! You're blushing! That's so cute! For the record, this is so much better than my 'dates' with Thanatos. It was worse than the torture. So much worse."

I simpered. "I'm not as bad as an evil underling? That's reassuring!"

Lady Viridi swiveled around from her booth behind us. "You're choking! Act more confident!"

I glared at her. "Hey, don't spy on us, Lady Viridi!"

Lady Viridi crossed her arms. "Hey, I want to watch Phosphora's first date! I'm technically her mother just as much as Palutena is yours. And I'm bothering you. It's a win-win."

I grumbled, "Fine. Just don't interrupt again."

Phosphora shook her head. "Surrounded by so many people who care about us. It's good to be back."

I eagerly nodded. "This is a pretty awesome place to be. But you make it special." Phosphora leaned forward and kissed me.

_BEST DAY EVER!_


End file.
